Right up my alley!

I am so excited! I have discovered a new venue for me to use my talents. That is being a radio talk show hostess. I am sure that this blog radio talk concept is not very new, but it's new to me. And it's right up my alley! I can host my own show, format and program it as I please, I can invite guest if I'd like. In fact, that's how I discovered it. I was invited as a guest for someone else's show.

With this show, I have scheduled three segments so far (that's the max they allow you to schedule as a new host). I have already begun to formulate my schedule with the list of topics I will cover.

I will be busy doing a lot of writing, studying, and preparation.

I guess you wonder why I'm doing this. It's not a "job". I'm not being paid. I might not even receive notice for it. But, it's something that I want to do. I have many messages and I am driven to get them out.

I'm just so excited.

This is the information and link for my show - yes, my show - Passion For Life!

BROKEN TREES

I had a wonderful weekend. I spent it with both of my brothers and family. We celebrated Michael's birthday with him and his family in Biloxi. Ira lives in San Leandro, CA, but he flew down south so that he could be a part of the celebration. You see, it was Michael's 50th birthday. A fine milestone worth celebrating.

Ira flew into the Jackson, MS airport and he spent Friday with me and my family. I was thrilled to have my brother here in my new house.

Ira and I drove to New Orleans on Saturday morning. This was his first time seeing the city after Katrina. He was last there a few months before the hurricane hit. Since New Orleans is our home, he really needed to see the condition with his own eyes.

The weather was terrible as we took the 2 1/2 hour drive. It rained relentlessly the entire drive. Cold and rainy, quite miserable!

Ira had to agree that seeing the city with his own eyes didn't compare to the images he's seen in pictures and on television. The Lower 9th Ward, our neighbor, is still in total disarray. It's a deserted area. There is no life. Not even cats and dogs were there. We did see, however, tour buses driving through, as well as other people whom we knew were not former residents of the area. Sight seers! It really got to me, truly ticked me off. Particulary the tour bus. I am sure that someone is profiting from the tours, and I just don't think that's right.

We made a couple of stops before we left New Orleans. We stopped by and visited my friend Corbie, who interestingly enough went to high school with me. We had a fantastic visit as she showed us the progression of the rebuilding of her home. It is simply gorgeous and I am so happy that things are coming together for her.

We then drove to Biloxi, MS. As we traveled on I-10, I saw an amazing sight. All along the highway were trees.........many trees. Trees that's been there for many years. But, they were broken! It was apparent that Hurricane Katrina blew through New Orleans and all down to the gulf coast (Biloxi and Gulfport, MS). Her fury was visible just by looking at those trees. I mean, we have all seen the pictures of the houses that were destroyed (our own being among them), and the images of the flooding, and all of the devastation of the people. Images of Katrina; they're probably etched in our minds. But, these trees stood out to me and its' image was profound!

I saw miles and miles of broken trees. They snapped from the middle and the brokenness was vibrant and loud! It was as though they were yelling at me. They begged to be noticed, to be seen. They spoke to me and shouted.....CARLA, WE ARE STILL STANDING!

Hurricane Katrina may have snapped them, broke them in half........yet, those bad boys were still standing! And then I heard, CARLA......YOU ARE STILL STANDING! The hurricane caused a snap in my life. She devastated a mighty blow. Slowed me down. Chopped some of me off. Shedded some of my branches. Shook me up and had me swaying in the wind. But, I AM STILL STANDING!

I then heard two songs in my mind. Bishop Paul Morten's song.....aptly titled, "I'm Still Standing", which is a mighty testimony of his tenacity after Katrina and other crucial events in his life. I also heard "Broken but Healed" by Byron Cage (I believe.......please correct me if I'm wrong).

We eventually made it to Biloxi to be with Michael. Now, Mike and his family are also survivors of Katrina. She came through and destroyed their home that August 29, 2005 fateful day. They had to flee as well and ended up in Columbia, MO (near St. Louis). They decided to return to Biloxi just a few months ago because Michael simply loves the beach. Biloxi and the entire gulf coast area is a beautiful place. I am so happy that they were able to find a new house and rebuild their lives as well. I was happy.......joyful......grateful.........and I praised God for blessing them so. As I enjoyed myself for Mike's birthday gathering and had a wonderful time with both of my brothers and Mike's family, I could not help but thank God for all that he's done for my family.

As we drove back to my home this afternoon, I again saw more broken trees. This time I praised God. I pray that my family and I will continue to stand tall and strong like those trees........and another song played in my heart and mind........"I shall not be moved. Just like a tree, planted by the water, I shall not be moved".

Oh Well...

Oh well.........my New Orleans Saints fell short in the NFC championship match yesterday. I am really upset about that and my heart goes out to the players. The team did their best and they've come such a long way. It's taken 40 years, the team's entire history, to even get to this point. So, their performance this year has been exemplary and I am so proud of them.

I actually cried for them. My heart really ached. But, I hope that the players know that they have nothing to feel bad about. They are still our champions.

Today, I am wearing black and gold ("Saints Gold") just to honor them and to remember that hard work pays off.

On the other side of the coin is still something to celebrate and rejoice about. History was still made on Sunday. For the first time EVER in NFL history are two teams in the Super Bowl headed by African American coaches!!!! Yippee!!!

The commentators and other non-Black people were on the television stating that they don't see the "hype" in this. They don't understand why this is such a victory for the African American community. They just don't get the big deal.

Well, I guess we really can't expect them to understand. It's okay. As long as we know and we understand the significance of this. It shows that barriers have been broken and because of their diligent and hard work, these two coaches have paved the way for many.

The world may not understand that we have been unfairly treated forever, and now that we're finally afforded an equal opportunity (that's all we've asked for - the one thing that Dr. King died for - equality), we are doing more of the things that we are gifted to do. For the life of me, I do not understand why or how the NFL of old would not even allow an equal chance for Black men to serve in the position of coach. Not only head coach, but remember we weren't even quarterbacks!

And they don't understand....

Oh well!

Congratulations to OUR coaches!

Go Saints!!!

ALL I CAN SAY IS.....HOW 'BOUT THEM SAINTS???!!!!

My New Orleans Saints are marching right on in and it is a TREMENDOUS, CRAZY, OVERWHELMING, JOYOUS feeling!

The Saints' story right now is one that all of us can probably relate to. See, the city of New Orleans and surrounding areas (yep, even the folks here in Jackson, MS are huge Saints fans) have loved and supported the team for years. No matter how gloomy things looked, the diehards NEVER gave up. The simple saying of "There's always next year" has been spoken for decades! No matter what shannigans took place (remember the era of Mike Ditka as coach and then rookie Rickie Williams?!), no matter how much we looked like bumbling idiots and the keystone cops, no matter how many years some fans even wore bags over their heads and called our team the "Aints"........there was always hope!

It's been a long, hard road, but this team and the "Coach of the Year", Sean Peyton, has done what's NEVER been done before. We are facing Da Bears for the championship........but what's being seen even more, is that we are in a direct line for the Super Bowl!!!!

I am not all that sports savvy, so I certainly don't know it all. But, I do applaud Coach Peyton. I absolutely love what he did prior to the Philadelphia Eagles game (last week). Before they EVEN played that game, during the week prior to that, he sent a copy of the itinerary to each player for the Chicago Bears game! Not only were they not playing the game they needed yet to win to get to Chicago, they were playing the game before that.

He did something that I tell people all of the time about their own lives.......and something that I have had to learn to do for my own. That is to SEE where you want to be. No matter how dismal things may look today, this week, this month, this year.....we have to SEE our victory! We have to visualize. And it's hard to see something that we don't believe.

The question for you (and I) is, do you believe? Do you believe that you CAN......wait, not only can, but that you WILL get to that place that you desire to be? Are you on the horizon of a championship? Are there obstacles facing you that stand in your way? What do you want? How bad do you want it? Are you willing to put the work in to get there? Do you BELIEVE that you can do it?

Victory feels good, particularly when you're only accustomed to losing. Eventually, something has to click inside of you that will propel you higher. All of the naysayers have to be left behind. All of the past failures must be forgotten. All of the doubts that continually roll around in your brain telling you that you'll never succeed must be stopped! You have the power to change it all because you have the ability to change your thoughts. Change your thoughts, and you change your life.

Of course it is my hope that the Saints will march right on in to the Super Bowl, and come out as the winner. I know that it's possible. Who would've thought???? Who would've thought??? But you know what, they are already champions, they are already victors, because they believed and never gave up. I guess the Super Bowl ring on their fingers will only make that victory all the sweeter.

You too are victors. You just have to live what you believe.

The Me Of Today

"I only wish I had the me of today when I was the me of yesterday".
~Carla Young Nix

Okay.....y'all know that I love quotes that are profound and that make an impact on me. Now, as you can see, those words above are mine. I don't know how profound they are, but they did make an impact. I stated these words to someone as I explained to them a burning calling on me in the marriage ministry that God has blessed me to serve as Director. God showed me additional work He would like for me to do in that ministry.

It is my pleasure to answer this call because my heart is strongly in this ministry and with the people whom I serve. What God is having me to do is to be person for my sisters and brothers that I needed for me when I went through a very dark time in my own life and marriage.

You know the saying, "If I only knew back then what I know today". How many times do we feel this way? And this is good because it shows growth and development in our lives. However, what we know today is not solely for us. It is for us to reach back, turn around, look to the side.....whatever is necessary....to give to others. To be to others what they need to succeed.

Too many people have the mentality that they made it on their own, and as such, they are not responsible for helping anyone else to make it. That is so untrue! And if you think about it, you did not make it on your own. I know without a doubt that there is somebody who helped you along the way. Think about how much you appreciate that. So, why not be that to someone else? And why not be what you wished was available to you when you needed help?

You are a walking source of knowledge, skills, learned-lessons, wisdom, talent. Just remember that you should pass it on. Look how far you've come. Be to others what you needed to succeed.

I read something the other day that encouraged us to do something for someone every day that you are not paid to do. Do something for someone who cannot pay you back. Do something for others just because you can and because you have an earnest desire to simply make the way a little easier for them. Expecting nothing in return.

I leave you with words from Ghandi - "Be the change you want to see in the world."

I'm Back

It wasn't until someone recently nudged me and told me that it has been almost a year since I've last posted an entry here. My goodness! I didn't realize that it had been so long. All I know is that I've been very busy with just about everything, and I simply let this get by me. That's a shame!

Well, it's a new year. A new me. Hopefully, a better me, and as such, I want to do better in everything. My personal theme for this new year is "REVVIN' IN 2007" Yep, I am accelerating, increasing, and improving.

Stay tuned for more from me.

Today, I'm not feeling all that grown up. Feeling like a child. Like a brat. And you know what.......I really don't care!

I'm pouting and having a hissy fit.

But, it's all good. I think that I'm entitled to this little tantrum. I'll get over it.

Otherwise, I am having a very eventful, yet exciting day. A good day. I enjoy my work and I am sooooo thankful to have this job.

I work long and hard, and tomorrow I will have a day off! I look forward to it. Physically and emotionally, I am exhausted. So, I can't wait to crawl back up in the bed after I send my daughter off to the bus. I need some sleep!!!!!

Guess I truly am a child today. Just like children, I need a nap :)

God bless!

2006 - Living a Life Enriched

It is my goal, my mantra, my desire, my motto for this new year: 2006 - Living a Life Enriched.

I have not blogged since November! Wow!

I've just been very busy, and at times even a little too depressed to write. I honestly feel that I am having some type of post-traumatic, or post-Katrina bouts of stress and trauma.

But, I am doing well. Doing better each day.

God has blessed me with a job. I began January 3rd. It's a good job and I am once again doing something very meaningful. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I am just happy to be alive. As I said, I do feel down at times, but I do know that everything will be okay. We are still praying and waiting for a new house. When I think about all that we lost, it hurts me. But, I then have to think about what God is going to give back to us. He is going to give us another house, I know it. I just don't know when. I try not to stress myself about it, or worry myself crazy. Worry and Faith do not coincide. I can't do both, so I must remember to have faith and stop worrying.

I am praising God for this day!

Survive...Thrive...Alive....2005

From several sources, I have learned that the name Katrina means "purity". Hurricane Katrina, as devastating and destructive as it was, has proven to me to be a cleansing and purification in many ways.

My family and I lost everything in Hurricane Katrina. We lived in New Orleans, in the Lower 9th Ward, the hardest hit area of the storm. We visited our home for the first time last weekend. It took me several days to "recover" from what I saw ....the loss of my home and all of our possessions ...... and the death of my beloved city.

Since August 29, 2005, life for me has been surreal. I have experienced a myriad of emotions. I have had to handle business as never before. I have walked around in a trance....a daze......yet, I've been productive. I have not known how to feel. Or what to feel. The only thing that I have been sure about is the love of God. Had I not known the Lord, I truly believe that this experience would have caused me to lose my sanity!

Thank God for His love. His guidance. His Hand. His protection.

I am not angry. In fact, as weird as it may seem, I am somewhat thankful for Hurricane Katrina on a personal level. I am overjoyed about the destruction that took place; but for me, this hurricane has been a purification. Often, cleansing and purification is painful. Shedding baggage and habits and a way of life can be painful. Letting go of our comfort zones is not easy. Change......change does not always come at a convenient time. Change also brings a form of grief because it means saying goodbye to something. It is painful.

After the storm....there is usually new life. New Orleans looked like a dead city last week. There was an eerie calmness and stillness. It was quiet. It was void of life. But I know that New Orleans will rebuild and come back vitally.

For me, personally, I am not returning to New Orleans to live; however it will always be my home. I have so many fond memories there. My life is moving forward and upward now. I am establishing a new life. I am leaving the things behind me that in many ways held me down.

It took a hurricane to blow me......literally.......blow me out of town! My leaving has forced me to step out of my chains and to grasp the things that I always wanted to do. I am determined to make it!

At the beginning of 2005, I adopted a personal theme. It was....."Thrive in 2005". Hurricane Katrina put a big damper on things, but she let me see just how strong I am and demonstrated that I am indeed a survivor! However, I will do more than just survive. I will do as my new year theme said.....I will thrive.....because I am alive (praise God!).

Hurricane Katrina

Hi Everyone,

I want to say hello and that my family and I are safe from the hurricane! If you've been reading my blog, you know that I am from New Orleans. I am praising and thanking God for His safety and protection.

I only have a quick moment to write, as all of my belongings have been lost. This includes my home and all of our possessions. An though I know that we have lost everything, I also know that we have everything. Everything that we need, because we have each other and our lives.

My husband and our children evacuated safely and we did not have to endure the hardship that so many of my fellow New Orleanians suffered by being trapped in the city. I personally know that I would not have survived if I had been in the Super Dome or Convention Center. I thank God that He brought us safely to my mother-in-law's home in Mississippi. We have shelter, food, a few clothes (although we were blessed to purchase some items for the children once we arrived).

Again, we have everything because we have our lives, and most importantly, God's love. When I have time, I will write more on my thoughts through this whole ordeal. It has taken its toll on me and there were days when I just broke down and could not stop crying. Then there was a day when I could just laugh......I laughed for nearly a half hour! Maybe I've lost my mind, but that laugh felt good! I hadn't laughed since the hurricane up until that time (a few days ago).

I will share my desire and quest for a little normalcy. I don't know what normal is anymore, but I do know that I need it. Knowing that God will bring us through this is keeping my sanity.

I thank those of you who have prayed for us, and for those who have also actually reached out and helped us. What a blessing! God has sent us people whom we don't even know to help us.

I must go for now, but will write again as soon as I can.

Return From Vacation

I was away on vacation last week in Atlanta. A welcomed break which I feel was very productive for me. I got some much needed rest, yet I was very busy with rejuvenation. I was able to do a lot of reflecting.

Since I’ve returned, I’ve been non-stop busy. Just as busy as I was before the vacation both at home and work. Not much had changed, but I feel that I have. Actually, prior to going on vacation, I must acknowledge an inner change that has propelled me to a new level. It’s simply my state of mind.

The mind is powerful. Situations and circumstances may not always change as readily as we would like. Nor can we change other people. But we can change ourselves and we begin that process by changing our minds. Our actions will follow suit.

Our minds determine our attitudes. Attitudes are very powerful as well. Attitudes often determine our perspective. How we see things. How we see others. How we see ourselves. How we do things.

Everyone has bad days. But to have a bad day every single day is a bad thing! Again, we may not be able to change situations or circumstances, but we are able to change ourselves even through the midst of them. We can choose how we respond and act on any given day. Even when we are having a bad one.

We can, and should feel good about ourselves. If we are dissatisfied or unhappy with ourselves, how can we expect others to be favorable and positive towards us. If we don’t even like ourselves, how can we expect others to? If we are full of negativity, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, misery, doom and gloom……..that can be changed. The circumstance may not change (there are some things that we simply do not have control over); the people may not change (maybe we need to change our settings if possible); and situations may not change. But, we can change. We can choose our course of actions and we can decide that regardless of what surrounds us, we do not have to succumb to defeat.

We should expect the best for ourselves. We should not settle for less. Additionally, we should also always give and do our best. I truly believe that we receive what we give.

I want to encourage you today to hold your head up and take control of your life by governing your state of mind.

Daddy's Girl

I'm just thinking about my father right now. I always become melancholy this time of the year. Daddy's deceased, and his birthday is August 1st. Some years, I get this way without first realizing why. Then I sit back and realize that his birthday is approaching. Daddy passed away, quietly, gently, in his sleep January 21, 1981. He passed just as he lived. Quietly. Gently. Without much fanfare. My father was a good man. He worked hard for his family. Took good care of us. Loved us. I am the only girl, so yes, I was very much a Daddy's Girl. I was only 19 years old when Daddy died; yet I still think of him quite often. I am sorry that he didn't get to see me grow up. Get married. Have children. I miss that he isn't a part of all of that. I think that he would've been proud. Although I was 19 at his passing, he and Mama did an excellent job in raising my 2 brothers and I. I love you Daddy. Miss you much!

Christmas in July!

This picture was taken on December 25, 2004. Yes, Christmas Day. Something quite fascinating happened. Something so rare that some had not even experienced it in their lifetime until Christmas 2004.

That's SNOW in New Orleans! Alright, stop laughing. I know that those of you in places such as New York, Detroit, Denver, and other cold climate places are saying that what's falling in the picture is not really snow. Well, this is what I've been told by some friends. They say that what's in the picture taken from my front door is only a "powder" or "dusting".

Hey, whatever rocks your boat, but I call it snow!!! A phenomon here in New Orleans. It was a pleasant treat on Christmas. The last time I recall a real snow here was in 1988. My older kids were babies! My youngest child wasn't even born yet!

Well, it is July and you may be wondering why I am talking about snow. It is because this snow fall, a Christmas miracle, reminds me of my life today. It is Christmas in July for me!

God has been blessing me in ways that I make me sit back and exclaim that I know without a doubt that it is only He who is bringing these things to pass.

I am seeing the hand of God in my life in ways that you wouldn't believe!

I am experiencing true love and joy and peace from Him. And although I do "think" too much at times, and try to "see" things for myself, it always ends up where I have to move myself out of the way so that I can see Him. Scripture tells us to stand still and know that He is God!

He has proven Himself over and over to me, and I praise and thank Him for it.

This is Christmas in July in my life right now. I'm not talking about tangible things, but the spiritual awakening that He is unfolding in me. The places that He is establishing me. The doors that He's opening for me.

To me this day, I say, Merry Christmas!

Thoughts on Life

My life is amazing. There is just so much going on and many times I feel that I just can't keep up. It's fast-paced. Always something going on (good, bad, indifferent). I truly know what it "waiting to exhale" means. I often wonder when will I ever be able to just take a deep breath, relax, and live a "normal" life. What is normal? I frequently think that no one else can be living a life as crazy and hectic as mine. Nobody! I just want to relax and simply live. Most of my days are filled with trying to stay above water. Trying to make ends meet. Trying to figure out what bills will be paid; which ones won't! Thinking about how to stretch a dollar. How to make sure that everyone has what they need. Is life supposed to be this chaotic? When will it happen? When will I begin to make the money that I need to live a comfortable life? I don't strive to be rich; just comfortable. Then, I have to sit back and realize that regardless of how hectic everything seems; no matter how difficult it is; no matter how many times I get tired of simply "thinking"; we are still blessed. My family is blessed! Things may not be as smooth as I would like, but God has always taken care of us. This is what I need to focus on and remember that instead of griping and complaining, I ought to praising and thanking God!

Rambling

Just rambling today. I'm actually pretty sleepy, although it's 3:21 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon. I brought my husband to work this morning, so that meant that I had to get up around 4:00 a.m.! Yep.....that early. My two girls I then spent the rest of the morning at the beauty shop. We were there for 8:00 a.m. It's a one-woman shop, so of course she was the only one primping us. She's good and we like her, so we don't mind the wait. I need to do some computer work, but don' t know how far I'll get tody. I truly am sleepy. I'm finally putting together ONE of the websites that I've wanted to for quite some time. Now that I have the "tools" and the domain and hosting, I have to put it all together. It's a labor of love and I am determined to make it a nice place. Once I'm ready to share it, I will. Yawn! I think that I'm heading for an afternoon nap. Good......that means that I'll be wide awake for one of my favorite television shows tonight......BIG BROTHER. Can't wait to see who'll be nominated for eviction.

This is one of my favorite photographs of the ones that I've taken myself. I call it simply "tulips by the water". I love it because it represents tranquility and natural beautiful. It's calming as you see the radiance and splendor of the tulips colors. Only something that God could do. And you can "see" the gentle breeze that is blowing the tulips, and causing ripples in the water. Only God. And like the wind, you may not be able to see Him, but you can feel Him and you know He's there. Even when He is silent on some things. I tend to get lost in this photograph. It makes me appreciate God's power. And, I guess it's obvious to you now that I love tulips!

And these are a couple of pictures that I took at the New Orleans Audubon Zoo. I absolutely love the "big cats". These white tigers are a wonderful display of beauty and grace, and what I call "gentle strength". They were just lounging around on this particular day (which happened to be a Mother's Day), but they are mighty and ferocious when they have to be.

Got a hold on me!

I write and send inspirational emails to my co-workers and others on a regular basis. I attempt to do so dailly, but at times I'm not able to because of my workload. Here I am sharing the message I wrote today..... Late yesterday evening, around 5:00 pm, I and a few other staff members were working on something. It was late. We were tired. Practically delirious. Confused in some matters. And almost brain dead. We ended up laughing about something that one of the staff members was doing. She was holding on to a very important document with “dear life”. She had a grip on it so tightly, that we laughed (but was very serious) and understood why she was doing so. I noted that she had a “death grip” on it. And somehow, that related in my mind as to how we often establish non-physical death grips in our lives. What is a death grip? In the physical realm, it is the EXTRAORDINARY strength that the body gains when it finds itself in danger and in need of holding on for “dear life”. It’s a grip that is beyond the ordinary strength that we have. It’s a natural, simple matter of the body protecting itself. Shielding. Guarding. I am also reminded of the grip that a pit bull dog. I am told that a pit bull will bite, and not let go. Often its intent is to go for the jugular and not let go. This is their survival instinct. Do you see where I’m going? As a sense of survival, and for protection in our lives, we too demonstrate non-physical death grips in certain areas. We will hold on so tightly to some things and will not let go until, or unless, someone or something pry us away. We will strangle and stifle and smother people and areas in our lives, because we feel threatened and afraid. We will even build a death grip on our own selves, thus paralyzing the flow of our lives. One thing about the physical death grip is that the body has also gone into shock. As we know, when the body goes into shock, it begins to shut down. That is why in a medical emergency, it is important to keep a person from going into shock. Well, if we are in emotional shock and have clung to death grips, we need to be careful because we too can begin to shut down. Because of past pains, disappointments, ill-treatment, disappointments, failures, shattered trusts, etc., we tend to build walls. We put a death grip on our hearts, not wanting to open it and allow it to be vulnerable again. We become cynical. We vow not to trust again. We refuse to believe anything, or anyone……even ourselves in some cases. We become defensive. Argumentative. Narrow-minded. At times, all of this is actually necessary, because we really do need to protect ourselves. And that is because of lessons learned. However, there comes a time when we need to loosen up, have faith, and enjoy life. When we’re all geared up and tense and in a death grip mode ALL OF THE TIME, it is very likely that we will miss out from the very things that we want.

Inner Child

Do you remember when you were a child? Whenever you felt sad, disappointed, upset, hurt, or even happy and ecstatic, you could always run to your parents for support. Remember the days when you couldn't wait for Daddy to get home from work? Or for Mama to pick you up from school?

Remember the times when a toy was broken and you could run to your parents to fix it?

Remember when your big brother, or little brat brother, would pick on you and you would run to Mama to tell?

Remember when the kids teased you or made fun of you, you knew that you could let your parents know.

Remember when you had problems in school, perhaps with the teachers. All you had to do was tell, and your parents would take care of it.

Those days are long gone, and for me this day, I am feeling like a little child again. See me to the right at age 5. Those were carefree days.

Oh how I wish that I could crawl up in my parents bed because I'm scared of the boogie man. How I long to lay in my mother's bosom and just cry, cry, cry. How I wish I could hear my father say, "Aw shucks, it'll be alright".

Both of my parents are gone to heaven now and I can't even call them just to hear their voice. But I am a grown woman now. However, I would give anything just to hear their voices again. To see their smiles. Their faces. Their eyes. Feel their touch.

I miss them so much. Particularly today when I'm feeling like Carla at 5.

Blessed!

Carla and Anaiah
This is one of my favorite pictures of me and my youngest child. Her name is Anaiah, a Hebrew word that means "God has answered".

She is truly a blessing from God. She came 10 years after what I thought was my last child. I was an "old" mom with her, and therefore I was an at-risk pregnancy due to my age alone. I'd lost a baby many years before this pregnancy, and of course I was apprehensive and at times fearful. But I am a praying woman and I prayed quite a bit during the pregnancy. Therefore, her name....."God has answered".

If you recall, I was feeling somewhat low and exhausted last time I posted. As I prayed and cried out to God, I was reminded to be thankful for all of the blessings that He has already given me. I am indeed a blessed soul! I thank God for all that He has done in my life, what He is doing, and what He will bring to pass.

Many times we focus too much on what we don't have and what we think we want. We lose sight of what we are already blessed with.

I asked God to forgive me for not being more grateful. And guess what? Before the day was over, He'd blessed me tremendously with what I consider a miracle in my life.

Thank you Lord for you blessings! I love you!

Hi Everyone. Not much to journal tonight. Thought that I would add one of my own photographs of some tulips from Forest Park.

Although I'm 43 years old, I'm still growing up and still becoming what I want to be. See, I didn't know what I wanted to be until recently. It's not "one" thing, but I know that I can be a number of things. I figure now that is why God gave me a variety of talents and interests.

One of those interests is photography. I'm not sure if I'm talented in it, but I love it. One day I hope to put together a photo journal. I would also like to compile a book of my poetry and include my own photographs in it.

We are forever evolving and learning. Growth is continual. I forget who said it, but the saying is true that it's never too late to become what you might have been.

I didn't take the paths that I should have in my younger years to get me to where I want to be. However, I didn't have a clearly defined path to follow. And I tend to believe that all of those detours in life have indeed brought me to where I NEED to be.

I'm enjoying this journey!

Carla