I AM FREE!

I AM FREE!
By Carla Y. Nix

"When the Son of Man sets you free, you will be free indeed!"
~John 8:36

Last week was an incredibly interesting week for me. I experienced highs and lows and events that I did not understand. It all culminated today during worship service in the form of my pastor’s sermon. Through him, God explained much of what I experienced during the week.

I won’t rehash it all, but the most prominent thing that happened to me was my singing in my sleep one evening. It was confirmed by my daughter who came to wake me when she heard me making all of that noise! When she came into my room, she saw that I was asleep, yet I was singing. She tried to wake me, but I just turned over, she said, and kept on sleeping. As she told me about it the next day, she quoted a few words of the song I was singing, and my heart leaped! I don’t remember actually singing, but I do remember “hearing” the song in what I thought was a dream. I heard it in my spirit. The song played over and over in my spirit even before my daughter told me what happened the night before.

The words to the song are:
I am free!
Praise the Lord, I’m free.
No longer bound, no more chains holding me.
My soul is resting, it’s just another blessing.
Praise the Lord, hallelujah, I’m free.


After this singing in my sleep episode, and me not being able to get the song out of my head, something serious arose in my life that caused me to become anxious and even reeked a fleeting moment of serious fear in me. Yet, I kept hearing the song, “I am free!” I sought prayer and God directed me in my steps. He blessed me by providing the assistance and help that I needed in this situation. He sent the answer to me!

My husband and I later had a discussion about how someone recently misused this passage of scripture:

Isaiah 61:1-2 (ESV)

1The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn.

Jesus goes on and fulfills this prophesy, and even refers to what Isaiah stated:

Luke 4:16 – 19 (ESV)

16 And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up. And as was his custom, he went to the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and he stood up to read. 17And the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written, 18 "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, 19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor."

Some have used these scriptures to push the prosperity message as far as financial and earthly gain is concerned.

Jesus went on further to say:

And he began to say to them, "Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing." Luke 4:21 (ESV)

Jesus is the fulfillment of the prophesy spoken by Isaiah. He is the fulfillment of the law. He is the fulfillment of God’s promise. Jesus did not come to make anybody financially rich. His purpose is clearly stated:

14 Now after John was arrested, Jesus came into Galilee, proclaiming the gospel of God, 15and saying, "The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel." Mark 1:14 - 15

Jesus came proclaiming the gospel, seeking to save those who were lost. Lost in sin is an imprisonment. Therefore, He came to set the captives free – those who are in bondage. When we are not in Christ, we are prisoners of sin and satan.

I allowed the events of last week to make me act as one who did not know that they were free. I acted like a prisoner to my circumstances, and to satan. For God has not given me a spirit of fear. Additionally, I allowed myself to worry and to question God and His will for, and in, my life. I was blind and only saw what I could see with my physical eyes. God had already made promises to me, yet I panicked each time I saw something differently.

God had to remind me that I AM FREE! I am no longer bound, there are no more chains holding me. My soul is indeed resting, in Him, and I ought to praise Him because I’m free. That is why Jesus came – to release both you and I from the grasp of the oppressor. Because He came, because He lives, I can live. I can face anything that confronts me.

God will keep His promises to me. He will, and is providing for me. He wants me to live and walk in the freedom He has given me.

As I stated in the beginning of this, everything culminated for me today in the form of my pastor’s sermon. It was awesome. Not because my pastor, as always, delivered it well. It was awesome because God CONFIRMED everything through the message. I do not believe in coincidences, and I had not spoken to my pastor about this. Yet, his sermon subject was “Instrument of Freedom” (coming from Joshua 3). He spoke about Joshua’s availability and capability of being a leader and how God used him to lead the children of Israel into the promised land. He went on and spoke about how we are not only instruments of freedom, but we are capable of doing so because we are free ourselves! God can use us when we are free. And then, in the midst of his sermon, pastor quoted “my” song……

I am free!
Praise the Lord, I’m free.
No longer bound, no more chains holding me.
My soul is resting, it’s just another blessing.
Praise the Lord, hallelujah, I’m free.

Before hearing it over and over in my head and spirit all week, I had not heard that song for many years. It was one thing to hear it in my own mind, but to hear someone passionately speak the song at this juncture definitely let me know that it was God’s divine doing!

Yes, I am free! Jesus has set me free!

Can you say the same today? Yes, you can, if you have allowed Him to become your Lord and Savior. Freedom is sweet. Once we embrace our freedom, we can rest assured that freedom brings privileges. The greatest is that we no longer have to live under condemnation.

1There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1 – 2 (ESV)

God always provides what we need, when we need it. Because of outside influences and circumstances surrounding my life, my mind reverted back to that of one without hope and faith. I allowed myself to question God, to question myself, and to think as the enemy would have me to. That of a condemned person who had no rights and freedom in Christ. But God………yes, but God………worked on me in the spiritual realm by even giving me assurance and consolation while I slept. Then He tied it all together with a word through the sermon of my pastor, whom had no idea that he was speaking directly to me. What a mighty God we serve!

IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...

Today, I am sending my love to you. I know that some will be looking for Valentines gifts, cards, and candy tomorrow from their loved one. Some may even feel slighted or hurt if they do not receive anything. While, some who do receive, may feel that these gifts are the measurement of true love.

Whether you receive or not, please do not feel any of the extremes. And if you even consider yourself alone or have no one special in your life, please do not let that make you feel sad.

Real love......real love......is not measured in tangible gifts. The greatest love of all was given on Calvary's cross and it wasn't a pretty sight. There were no roses, no chocolates, no love poems. It was gory, it was bloody, it was painful, and it was even dark as even God had turn from the heaviness and presence of sin that rested on Jesus for our sake.

I do wish you a very happy day for you tomorrow, but know that I wish you this every day of your life. May each of carry love and show love on a daily basis, love as God has for us.

I leave you these words, which to me are that of a true love poem. The "love" chapter, as many of us call us. Be blessed!

Love
1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I Corinthians 12:1-13 NIV

THIS IS HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE

I guess I should be in bed right now. I will be in just a few minutes. I’m up writing and getting some work down, although it’s almost 2:00 am. I seem to think better and am more creative and functional late at night…..in the still of the night. I am NOT a morning person and my brain doesn’t work very well then. However, I do have to awaken at 5:15 am to get my child up and ready for school. The beauty now is that once she’s on the bus, I can get back in the bed and get a few more hours of sleep.

Anyway, what I wanted to pen tonight (or this early morning) is what’s been playing in my head all day. Actually, for several days. “This is how it’s supposed to be”. That’s a song that was out a few years ago by John Legend.

The song is playing in my head not so much because it’s a song, but because the words are my sentiment. This is how it’s supposed to be…….FINALLY!

I’m speaking about my life, of course. Generally, the direction that my life has taken, but more specifically, my life with my husband.

Overall, I am at a tradewind. The current has shifted in my life. I am changing direction as I am in the midst of entering a new level of productivity and significance. My work is changing. My days have changed. My mode of operating is different. My priorities have definitely been rearranged.
I’ve shared my fears before about the changes in my life. This is truly an adjustment period for not only me, but my entire family.

Through it all, my Jerry has been steadfast, loving, and extremely supportive. He’s been my rock. He has shown nothing but pure love and patience. He has loved me unconditionally.

I cannot help but think of the very rough times we went through. The bad times. The difficult times. The ugly times. The hurting times. There was a time when we both thought that it was over for us. We lost focus of who we were individually, and as a couple. We lost ourselves! As a result, we hurt one another. But one thing that was consistent is the fact that we NEVER stopped loving one another. Even through the pain, through the separation, through the hurtful words, through the devastating actions, and most definitely through the tears. The love never died.

God has sustained us and allowed us to experience that rough patch of time. Those few years were the worse of my life, but God performed miraculously in both of us.
Today, even after the storm and every single thing we’ve been through, we are better and stronger than ever. We were given a new chance and we respect and perceive God with a deeper appreciation. In fact, we appreciate each other more than we ever have before. We are more communicative. We are dedicated to never hurting one another again. We are committed to being the man and woman of God that we were destined to be.

We enjoy life more than ever now. We enjoy EACH OTHER like crazy. And after 25 years of marriage, we are more attracted to one another now than we’ve ever been before! New definition has been given to the term, love making!
My life is beautiful now. Even with the uncertainty of what God is doing in my career life, which ultimately affects our family life, I feel confident, safe, and secure. And I can say that this is how it’s supposed to be. I’m supposed to be happy. I thank God for this blessing!

Carla

EVEN IN THE WILDERNESS

"O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me."

~Psalm 63:1 - 8 (ESV)

David wrote this psalm when he was in the wilderness of Juday. His life was constantly in danger and his enemies were plenteous.

What a beautiful show of devotion and commitment to God, even while in the wilderness.

Can you and I reach up and out to God and express our thirst and desire for Him as David did?

No matter what your circumstances are today, remember that God's love for us never fails. We should always be able to say that our soul thirsts for Him and that our flesh faints for Him. Some of us only experience such passion for a man or woman. We do not enjoy an intimate relationship with the only One who will always love us, protect us, guid us, and take care of us.

Carla

WELCOME HOME - SISTERS4JESUS

This is another reminder that the Sisters4Jesus Ministry community is launched. I do encourage you to visit us by clicking here.

Sisters4Jesus is a family and our internet presence is structured like a home. All women are urged to join us.

The following "rooms" have been established in our abode. This is just a peek as to what awaits you as you come home:

BIBLE STUDY ROOM
Weekly Bible Lessons

THE WELCOME MAT
New members are encouraged to stop by the Welcome Mat

GIFT ROOM - INSPIRATIONAL WRITINGS BY CARLA
A room for you to enter in order to receive inspiration and encouragement. This is my gift to you.

THE DEVOTIONAL ROOM
Enter to begin your morning, or any part of your day, by devoting yourself to Him. Come here for devotional reading.

THE PORCH
Think back to the days of your youth. Remember the days when grandparents and older relatives sat on the porch and "schooled" us with their wisdom and experience. Here, on our porch, pearls and words of wisdom will be given.

SINGLE SISTERS SANCTUARY
A room for single sisters to share and relax as they praise God!

THE MARRIAGE MINISTRY ROOM
A room for married women to share insight and encouragement.

THE PARENTING PLACE
Information and resources for married and single moms.

STARTING OVER
Here we would like to minister to those sisters who find themselves without their spouse. Widows and women who are facing separation or divorce can find comfort and love here.

THE LADIES ROOM
Calgon, take me away! Sometimes we just need a place to retreat. This is the place for girl talk!

THE PRAYER CLOSET
Bring your prayer requests to the altar.

THE SHOUTING ROOM
Bring your praise and testimonies here. Bless others by sharing what God has done for you!

WORSHIP CORNER
Enter this place to worship and reverence God!

SALVATION ROOM
Come to learn how to give your life and your self to Christ. Learn what it means to accept Him as your Lord and Savior. Learn what it means to be saved. Here, you can give yourself to Him today!

HOUSEHOLD TIPS AND ADVISE
Here you can help others with practical advise for the house.

RECIPES
Share your favorite recipes

THE BEAUTY PARLOR
Sisters, let's face it. We love to look good! Here is the place to talk about hair, skin, fashion, and all of the things that make us feel beautiful!

THE WELLNESS ROOM
It is important that we learn what it means to be good stewards even in the form of our bodies and health. Here we will speak of good physical health, good mental health, and medical issues (particurly women's issues).

THE GARAGE
Here, we will PARK it! Do you need to unload baggage and release some things that are holding you down and back? Here you may PARK it!


JOIN US AT: www.sisters4jesus.ning.com

Carla

SISTERS4JESUS MINISTRY SOCIAL NETWORK

Back in October, I was encouraged to set up a site as a branch of our ministry Sisters4Jesus, where we could offer Bible Studies, Devotionals, and other information that would be a blessing to others. Sisters4Jesus is a fellowship, prayer, and support group for women, therefore, this site is for women only. We were originally organized strictly for African American women because my co-founder and I found that there were very little places for the Black Christian woman who needed spiritual support at that time. The group went online in 1998.

We remain true to the support of Black women, however, our doors are opened to any woman who desires the fellowship and support of other Christian women. We were all connected at Calvary.

As stated, in October I did set up the social network site, but I have not been successful in keeping the site active due to my time constraints. With everything that has gone on in my life, I actually forgot about the site until recently. That is because I was invited to and joined another Christian woman's social site by a precious and powerful woman of God. I respect what she is and has done in regards to being a true sister and being a strong voice for the Lord.

I decided to revisit what I'd begun with the Sisters4Jesus site and proceeded to revamp and upgrade it. I am now extending an invitation to all women who may be interested in joining.

The beauty of the site, created on the ning network, is that you can join and become a part of the Sisters4Jesus community. You can set your own page up, set up your own blog, make "friends", and still receive the Bible Studies, Devotionals, and other information that I will be posting, as well as participate in forums.

Check us out. I encourage you to join the family.

I know that there are men who are in this distribution. I ask that you would forward this information to the women you believe would be interested.

Just follow the link below to join us.

Click here to join:
http://sisters4jesus.ning.com/?xgi=gAQqao2

To simply view the page, click here:
http://sisters4jesus.ning.com


Blessings!

Carla

CONTENTMENT

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been hearing or reading the reminder to learn to be content in whatever state one find themselves to be in. One way or another, God has found a way to send me those words. Of course, they’re from His Word where Paul speaks very highly and graciously to the church of Philippi (Philippians 4:11). Paul thanks the good people of the congregation for loving and caring enough about him to send support and aid for his well-being. He appreciates their concern and expression of love, but lets them know that he is and will be okay because he knows what it is to have, and not to have. To be hungry, to be full. He has learned, as a result, to be content in whatever state he is in.

Now, after being given these words time after time over the last couple of weeks, of course I began to take notice. Certainly, this passage of scripture is not foreign to me. But, it takes on a new complexion when it relates directly to you………or vice versa………..when you can relate directly to it.

God has a way of preparing you. At least, that’s been my experience. As this is, what I call, my new life this year. Even before I took sick in December, and before my hospitalization, I knew that this would be a new year for me in many ways. God was calling me so loudly. Actually, yelling at me. Pushing me. Nudging me. Telling me that I had to follow His voice and move into my purpose. Yet, I kept being hard-headed and bucked at every turn. Simply because it did not make sense to me. I could not (and still don’t) understand how things would work out or how we could make it on one income; particularly since we were already struggling on two.
God kept showing me that it was time for me to move on from the work that was holding me back from the work that He has called me to. It became nearly humanly impossible to muster the time and energy to do it all. Something had to give. Yet, I kept bucking against the course I should have been on….again, because it didn’t make sense to me. God eventually showed me that I had to stop on the destructive path that I was sailing on.

Well, now I’m home and I am happy to be able to work on the things that bring me the most fulfillment. I am writing. I am enjoying my seminary classes (for the life of me, I don’t know how I managed both school and work last semester). I am devoting more time to ministry. I feel productive and I am extremely happy to be here for my family.

I am walking in my purpose and I know it.

Why, then, you may ask, has God been sending me the reminder to be content in this state. I wondered myself until today when I figured it out. Although He gave me a foretaste at the turn of the new year by telling me that this year, I would have to truly live by faith, somewhere in the back of my mind still resided a sense of reluctance and hesitancy. You see, my rational mind still tells me that we only have one income now. Focusing on that has allowed fear to filter in.
Tonight, God directed me to read, with an open mind and heart, the 4th chapter of Paul’s letter to the Philippians with the emphasis on Phil 4:11. The entire chapter blessed and encouraged me. And then it was all summed up in these words: “And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” (Phil 4:19)

This is why Paul was so able to say that he can be content in whatever state he is in. No matter if he has, or doesn’t have, God will supply his needs. That is what God wanted me to get into my thick head. He is my God. He is my father. He is Jehovah-Jireh – my provider!

He has called me to do His work and He will continue to take care of me. It wasn’t my job that took care of me, it has always been God! Yes, I too can and should be content, for He is with me!

I have to totally rely on Him and understand that He will not forsake me. While I’m wondering where is the new/extra income going to come from, I should know that He has already worked it out.

No, it doesn’t make sense to me, but that’s MY sense. My sense is not spiritual. This day is not a surprise to God. He has already made provisions and He is able to keep me. He’s already told me to have faith in Him. Lord, I ask for your forgiveness because I have allowed myself to forget. I have allowed myself to tune you out and to focus on my own understanding. Please forgive me Lord. I thank You for loving me, holding me, and providing for me. I thank You Lord for putting up with me!

I feel as though I’ve come full circle. Tonight I will go to bed in full contentment, because I know that God has already supplied all of my needs!

The Weight of Unforgiveness

WALKING IN YOUR PURPOSE - Part 2 - FREE TELECLASS


Date: Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Time: 8:00 pm CST / 9:00 pm EST / 6:00 pm PST / 7:00 pm MST

This segment will focus on a major component that hold many of us back. We cannot fully walk in our purpose with the baggage of unforgiveness weighing us down.

Do you carry this bag? Have you been hurt and you don't know how to forgive? Do you suffer daily because you're being controlled by your pain and disappointment? Do you find it impossible to be happy for others because you are so unhappy? Do you harbor bitterness and resentment?

You cannot be free as long as you refuse to let go. Remember, your new beginnings await you. However, something to think about is that you cannot pour new wine into old wineskins (Mark 2:21-22).

Let's talk about it.

Dial-in number: 1-712-432-3000
Conference Bridge Number: 849296

Blessings Galore!

Carla

WHAT DO YOU SEE:

“Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, "We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it."

But the men who had gone up with him said, "We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are." And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. They said, "The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."~Numbers 13:30 – 33

These are my thoughts on the Giants. Being as the New York Giants just won the Super Bowl against the New England Patriots, you may believe that I this will be about football.

Well……..yes, and no!

If you are not a football fan, you can still see clearly the thoughts I would like to point out here. As always with my writing, this is all about life and purpose, so please indulge me for a moment. It is my prayer that you are blessed by my thoughts on the Giants.

I have to begin with a couple of questions. What do you see when you see yourself? Is your view of yourself dependent upon your circumstances and the issues that surround you?

It was for the Israelite spies who were sent to survey the land that God had already promised them through Moses. In fact, God had already brought them through “hell and high water” to get them to yet another place of deliverance. Caleb heard the report of the spies that the land was exactly as God had promised. A land that flowed with milk and honey. A place that would allow them to prosper in all ways. A place where they could thrive as a people. A land of abundance and vitality. Because God promised them this land, Caleb was ready to take possession because he knew that God was righteous and trustworthy. He knew that God would allow them to be victorious in possessing the land.

But, the spies soured the report by throwing fear and doubt into the picture. Not only that, they hindered the task at hand by viewing themselves as mere “grasshoppers” in the presence of the inhabitants. Thus sealing their destiny. Because they saw themselves as defeated, they knew that they would be seen as grasshoppers in the sight of the “giants”.

Isn’t that just like us? How many times have you not achieved something because you quickly claimed defeat for yourself even before you set out to succeed?
It’s simple. If you believe that you can’t, then you won’t.

The New York Giants were seen as mere grasshoppers in the eyes of most people compared to the New England Patriots over the past two weeks. With good reason, I must say. The Patriots were a dynasty this season. A powerhouse. They were undefeated, heading into the Super Bowl with a perfect record of 18 – 0. They won all of the regular season and post-season games. It was expected that they would have an absolute perfect season by winning the big one – the Super Bowl.
The Giants started off the season on a rocky foot. They’ve had many ups and downs. They were not perfect. Many wondered if quarterback Eli Manning had what it took to lead his team to victory. Yet, no one doubted that quarterback Tom Brady of the Patriots would win…….yet again! This man has won several Super Bowls in the past. Manning had never even stepped foot into a Super Bowl, other than to cheer his big brother Peyton on in last year’s Super Bowl.

I rooted for Eli and the Giants. Perhaps my reasoning was not technical, or realistic, or even savvy. I simply believed that regardless of the obstacles ahead of them, it was possible for them to win. I was told by some (my own husband included) that my thinking was not logical. I was told that that the Patriots were too strong for the Giants. The Giants went in as the underdogs.

All I kept saying was that it was possible for them to win. I truly believed that.
Obviously the Giants believed it themselves because they won!!!
What lessons did I see in this great “upset”?

1. You don’t have to be perfect to be successful.
2. No matter how big the competition is, you can still stand up and be victorious.
3. With God, all things are possible.
4. You have to see yourself as a winner – even against the odds.
5. Others see you as you see yourself.

We face many obstacles in our lives. We are often told that we don’t have what it takes to get the job done. We are plagued with images of the powerful and it is easy for us to believe that we are powerless in comparison. It is difficult to achieve significant feats in the face of adversity, particularly without support from others.

It is important for us to drop the “underdog” mentality in our lives. If we continue to allow giant and even apparent impossible circumstances poison our minds, we will never be able to stand.

Whatever you’re facing right now can be viewed as the Super Bowl of your life. Are you going to allow the naysayers to hold you back? How long will you allow your view of yourself to be distorted due to your lack of confidence?
Snap out of it! Remember Philippians 4:13 – You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Stop telling yourself that you can’t! Otherwise, you won’t.
The choice is yours.

© February 4, 2008

Brand New Day

Today, I feel as though I’m coming out of a fog. As though I’m awakening from a very long sleep. It’s time to bring some organization and order back into my life.
My new lifestyle means a lot of changes. I have to make many adjustments. Now I’m ready to establish a regular schedule that will allow me to do ministry work, write, study for school, study for the trainings and workshops that I am doing, intertwine my coaching practice, work on my book, etc. All in addition to taking care of my family, which is my highest priority next to my relationship with God.

I feel really good about completing an article that I wrote for an online magazine where I am serving as a columnist. I am also writing devotionals for Touching Heart Ministry. Additionally, of course, I am writing for my own endeavors and ministry.
I am ready to bring everything together and in order so that I can feel as though I am productive. I really haven’t felt that way due to being in that stupor. I’m coming out of that fog, though. I feel like I’m in the movie “The Wiz” when they killed the witch Evilene. At that point, the people began to peel off the ugliness and old costumes and they emerged into the light full of brightness and vigor. They finally truly came alive!

There is so much that I want to do and I am really excited about it. I’m still regaining my strength and energy, and I am bouncing back slowly but surely.
I hope to schedule the upcoming teleconferences for “Walking in Your Purpose”, and I’m ready to begin interviewing people again for the radio show. I also am ready to begin public and motivational speaking again. These things do take energy and strength, all of which I have not had regularly since my medical issues.

But I am an overcomer. I am determined, and destined, to walk in my purpose as God has ordered! I rest on the words of Jesus as He said that in this life, we will always have trials and tribulations. But He told us to be of good courage, be of good cheer, for He has already overcome the world. I know that because He has overcome, I too have overcome………simply because of Him. In fact, I am more than a conqueror because He loves me!

Yes, the fog is burning off now and I am looking forward to seeing the sun shining brightly…because the Son is guiding me.

Carla

Rest is Good!

It’s taken me two days to recuperate from a splendid weekend! It was wonderful, but it truly wore me out.

I hosted a birthday dinner party for Jerry’s 50th birthday on Saturday. It was really nice with Jerry’s family here and his co-worker and his wife, and one of his minister friends and his wife. The house was full of love, laughter, warmth, and prayer.

This was the first “big” thing I’ve done since I got sick, and it did take a lot of me. It took its toll. But, I made it through. When it was all over, that is when I felt it! My body felt like a mack truck ran me down as I was in a lot of pain from my neck down to my feet.

Sunday was the Dr. Martin Luther King Commemoration program at church. This is the program that our pastor asked me to coordinate. It turned out very well. I am so pleased from the performance and hard work from all of the children and the other participants. It took a lot of work, but it was worth it. I operated on adrenalin to get through the entire event, as I was still hurting and exhausted from the dinner party the night before.

I am happy that I was able to rest, rest, rest on Monday and Tuesday. I needed it!
Now to move forward to the other projects ahead…

Carla

The Tearful Eyes of Bernice

This is a poem that I wrote for our Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Commemoration Service at my church. I also designed the program cover that is to the right.

Be blessed! I am sure that many of us can relate to this poem.

THE TEARFUL EYES OF BERNICE
By Carla Y. Nix

The tearful eyes of Bernice
Made me cry and also grieve
As one little girl watched another little girl
Mourn before the whole wide world.

That picture remains in my mind today
I can’t believe that 40 years have passed away.
I still feel the powerful grip of grief;
Still feeling sad for Bernice.

That poor little girl had to say goodbye
While on her mother’s lap she lie
A woman of pure grace and strength
Coretta, without Martin, her precious King.

I think often of the great impact he made
I am so thankful for the trail he paved.
And I know that it was only God that gifted King so
In order for this world, and our people, to grow.

I can’t imagine what our lives would have been
If it had not been for Dr. Martin Luther King.
Yet I wonder if my own people will ever appreciate;
I wonder why we are filled with so much hate.

Now grown, this little girl will never forget
The picture, she first saw in Jet
Of MLK’s little girl – his progeny
Those tearful eyes of Bernice.

© January 2008

The Preacher's Wife

That's me! I am always thanking God for blessing my husband and for allowing him to be a minister. My husband's ministerial career and life has grown because he has grown as a man of God. I am extremely proud of my husband and I take great joy in watching him as he does what he loves -- being a mouthpiece for God!

As a preacher's wife, I do go through my own challenges and issues that most lay people cannot relate to. Many simply think that the preacher's wife is just someone who sits in front, smiling sweetly, as her husband does his job. They don't realize that we have our own "jobs" by just wearing the "hat" or "title" of "preacher's wife".

So, I decided to start a new group for preacher wives. The purpose is to be a support and fellowship for these chosen women.

People can join by clicking here.

Blessings!

Carla


groups.yahoo.com/group/Preacher-Wives

Sister Empowering Sisters

I am so excited to announce that I was a featured guest on the Sister Empowering Sisters talk radio show tonight. I am truly honored and I thank Lady Renee for the invitation and the awesome opportunity.

Lady Renee is a powerful woman of God and you really need to listen to her show on a regular basis.

You may listen to my interview by clicking here.



Blessings!

Carla

Pain in the neck...

Well, I’ve finally received the results from my last medical tests. The MRI does not show blockage in my neck (thank you Jesus). However, the doctor says that I do have arthritis there.

Arthritis??!!!

I didn’t even know that you can have arthritis in the neck! However, this does explain all of the pain that I have living and dealing with for the last few years. Back in mid- 2005, when Jerry and I were still separated, I began to suffer with excruciating pain in my neck. Literally! At one point, I could not even turn or move my neck. It felt like an incredible “crook” that would not go away. I also could not move and lift my left arm and both of my shoulders hurt terribly. I ended up going to a neurologist and he ran all kinds of tests too. The MRI showed something going on with my nerves, leaning on my cord. The doctor said that surgery might be necessary, but the condition may relieve itself just as suddenly and quickly as it arose. Lord knows that I did not want to ever have to consider surgery. Eventually, the pain did ease. But, never fully. I was able to move my neck and arm again………..I just learned to tolerate the pain that flared from time to time.

The pain has increasingly become more constant……..but still………I just learned to deal with it. Just going on, never having time to let it stop me, and simply functioning and operating as I need to. It’s amazing how we learn to live in pain. We get used to it. That’s sad! Many’a mornings I awake and can barely move. I just stretch and keep going.

The other test reveals that I do have nerve damage, although the good news is that it is mild. This is causing the numbness, weakness, and even some pain that I am having in my feet, hands, arms, and legs. Some days, it is very difficult for me to comb my daughter’s hair. She’s 10 years old and has extremely thick hair. Lord knows, that girl has some hair on her head. Now, it’s more of a challenge combing it out every day.

Also, unfortunately, I have been finding it difficult to type as I used to. This truly scares me, because some days I have to stop working because my hands and arms get tired and weak, and/or begin to ache. I am a writer! Do you know how much this scares me? I have been praying and asking God not to allow this to affect me in any significant way. Honestly, if the physical ability to write (manually or on the keyboard) is taken away from me…………well, I can’t even imagine it. All I know is that it would equate to taking away my soul!

However, I am just relieved to finally know something.

Sentimental

It’s been an interesting day for me emotionally-wise. I don’t know why, but my mind seemed to be invaded this morning with thoughts of my “past life”, as I call it. Thoughts of “home” (New Orleans). Thoughts of my parents. Thoughts of how much I miss them, and how much I miss home. Although God has blessed us with a new house, a new life, a new place to live, it is still difficult for me to consider this place “home”. It’s special to me and I treasure it because God gave it to us, and I do my best to make it a home for my family. But, “home” will always be back there.

I miss home!

Thoughts of home, of course, brought back so many memories of being there with my parents. My family. Then, I thought of our home………the house that we lived in. The place that I inherited and then began to raise my own family. I thought of all of the love that was expressed in that house. The house that my grandfather built. The house that my parents remodeled. The house that my own children played in.
It’s all gone! It is as though it never existed.

Although I miss the physical place, it is not so much that I do not reside there anymore. What hurts me is that home is no longer there. I can never go back to it because it doesn’t exist. It was the most eerie feeling each time we’ve been back to New Orleans since Hurricane Katrina not to have our home to return to. Additionally, my extended family has scattered as well and their homes are gone as well. Only one cousin, and one in-law, made it through Katrina unscathed as far as their physical property. Yet, they both lament about the vast changes that has taken place in our city. New Orleans is definitely not the same place.

Katrina left a huge foot print on the place, and even more so on our lives.

Certainly New Orleans had, and has, many problems (what place doesn’t?). But, New Orleans also has a culture all its own and like no other. And most of all for me, I had family. None of which I currently have here where we now reside.
Today, thoughts of my recent hospitalization and my ongoing recuperation crossed my mind. Perhaps because I simply went to bed last night feeling sick, and awakening feeling the same. I couldn’t help but think about the days of being in the hospital and these days to follow. It’s been a month now since I was released from the hospital. I thought about how “alone” I’ve felt, and how I know that my family would have been there for me if only we were all still at home. Now, we are scattered all around the country.

I don’t know why I’ve had such sentimental thoughts today. It’s bittersweet for me. See, my thoughts do make me sad, they even make me cry, yet I am so grateful to God for protecting us and blessing us as He has. I am so thankful for the blessings He’s given us. I praise Him and glorify Him for all that He has done. When the thoughts of home and family enter my mind, I normally try to push them out because on one hand it makes me feel like an ingrate. It makes me feel as though having such memories and feelings mean that I am not thankful for what God has done for me. Yet, I know that isn’t true, because I am very much thankful. I further know that out of all of the destruction, God also brought deliverance.
My thinking back does not mean that I have not moved on. It means, I suppose, that I have a rich and glorious pass that is filled with love and family and an incredible sense of home. Some may not be able to say that.

I am thankful to God for all that He has done in my life. I honor Him for blessing me with the family that I miss so much. I praise Him for the memory of my deceased parents who laid the foundation for not only our home, but for the person that they raised me to be.

I guess that it is okay to have something to look back on with fond memories, even if there is heartbreak and pain because what once was, no longer is.

Carla

DESTINY

The Passion4Life Talk Radio Show recorded tonight is available now in the archives. Click here to access the show. I know that you will be blessed from tonight's message.

Passion4Life Talk Radio
www.blogtalkradio.com/passion4life

Enchanted

I am really excited about the progress being made in our practices for the Dr. Martin Luther King commemoration program. I so enjoy working with the children. I have all age groups – from as young as 3 on up to 17. What I love the most is seeing their faces when they do something well and they are proud of themselves. I also enjoy encouraging those who are somewhat lacking. I let them know that I believe in them and I know that they can do it. And you know what? They do it! I love cheering them on for every single little step of improvement!

Because I was asked so late to coordinate the program, it is scheduled for January 27th, which is the Sunday after MLK day. Otherwise, we only had 3 weeks to put a program together. Now, we have a whopping 4 weeks! LOL! This is sad, but it’s working out.

I am having a dinner party for Jerry’s upcoming birthday. He will be 50, so I wanted to do something really nice for him. Nice, but quaint, and not too outlandish. I’m only inviting his family, a few of Jerry’s minister friends, and a few people from his job. I’m debating whether or not to include a big pot of gumbo on the menu. Jerry LOVES my gumbo, and he does want it. But, if I do it for the dinner, then I will have to cook a pretty large batch of it. I’ll see.

Today, I’m somewhat exhausted and sore. It was a full and busy day for me, and I haven’t had one of those in a month now. I had to go back to the doctor’s office this morning to have the test to see if I have nerve damage. When I was there on Tuesday, Dr. Shekoni informed me that the MRI revealed that I have arthritis in my neck. IN MY NECK!!??? Get out of town, I was just too shocked. Yet, I wasn’t surprised because it now explains why I am always in so much pain. Yes, I suffer almost daily with pain in my neck, shoulders, back, lower back. Dr. Shekoni said that the arthritis is leaning against my spinal cord. It all makes sense now. I understand the pain. I’ve simply learned to live with and deal with this pain.

Now, we have to see why I’m still having all of this numbness, tingling, and weakness in my hands, legs, and feet. The nerve test was interesting. It reminded me of an EKG on a smaller scale. They put probes on one of my hands, and sent electrical shock waves through me. It did not hurt, but it felt funny. Buzz! Buzz! Ooooh…….interesting is all I can say.

Now I still have to wait for the results. The technician said that they will be able to tell me late next week. So, once more, I wait…..

Afterwards, I brought Tiffanie to the Mall. She returns to college tomorrow and she wanted to do some shopping before she went. Actually, I gave her money for her birthday gift (Tiff is my new year’s baby – yep, born January 1st), and she wanted to get some clothes. I did some walking, but I ended up taking a seat and let her do her thing while I waited. After the Mall, we went to Wal-Mart to get some other stuff that she needs to take back to campus. Wal-Mart always means a lot of walking! The walking was good for me, but it also took its toll. My right leg is still weak, I also got tired, and my blood sugar dropped too low. So, I was feeling sick, but felt better when we got something to eat (I’d missed lunch, and when I miss meals, my sugar does drop too low).

Anyway, it was a good day, and a beautiful day. But, I do feel quite sore in the hand where they took the nerve test. My other hand is sore as well as my arm. It is somewhat painful for me as I am typing these words. I wanted to do a lot more typing, as I am writing some other projects, etc. But, I will have to call it an early night because of the soreness.

Oh well…….good night. I am looking forward to practicing with the children tomorrow for the MLK program.

I am at peace

Tuesday, January 08, 2008
12:45 pm

I go back to Dr. Shekoni today. He is supposed to give me the results from the MRI that was taken last week of my neck to check for blockage. I personally do not think that there is blockage. At least, I am hoping not. But I know that something isn’t right with me and I am tired of feeling this numbness, weakness, and sometimes even pain. At first, it was only on my right side in my hand and foot/leg. I now feel it on the other side, as well as in my face. I’ve been feeling it even in m lips. Dr. Shekoni is supposed to run another test as well to see if I have nerve damage. From what my brother told me and also from what I’ve read on my own, nerve damage does occur in some diabetics. I just hope that whatever is the problem can be rectified and treated.

I am enjoying this change of pace in my life. I have gotten a lot of rest………..trust me, a lot! Rest is foreign to me . But, it feels good and I do feel better because of it. I do still feel weakness, but I am dealing with it. At times, I still get the headaches, but now I can go lay down and rest when I do. I enjoy being home when my daughter comes home from school. I enjoy having dinner cooked in time for my husband before he leaves for work (he works the 2nd shift – 3pm); and of course it’s ready when my daughter comes home. I enjoy that I haven’t had to punch in a clock in the morning, but can do some work when and IF I feel like it. I love that I have been able to do some household things when I want to, and not as a very rushed weekend event. I mostly enjoy being able to go to bed at a decent time (usually by 8:30 or 9:00 pm).

My goal is to soon develop a schedule for myself. Time for me to write, time to do some online work, time to do some ministry work (both online and off), time to rest, time to read. Hopefully I will be able to do this soon in an organized manner.

On a personal front, I am ready for a new look. I have lost 12 pounds since leaving the hospital. I feel good in that regard. I actually feel lighter. But, I am ready to change my hairdo. I am not ashamed to say that I currently wear a weave. This is not my first one, but I when I feel the urge to do something different, I get one. Now, I am ready to get it out and don my own hair again. What I am not happy about concerning my own hair is that since hurricane Katrina, my hair texture has changed. My hair is much thinner now and so much so, that you can see my scalp in some areas. Alone with the thinness is the texture. It’s a finer texture, yet sort of cottony. My hair has always been very thick, not course, but thick. I don’t know what it is now and although it looks nice for a moment, I don’t like it. The weave has allowed me to take a break from chemicals and the elements. I am seriously considering not returning to the chemicals and to just go natural………ah, but we’ll see. Maybe I’ll get a low cut and let it grow out anew.

We’ll see!

Carla

Something Positive Out Of Adversity

Have you ever walked away from a person, an event, an occasion, an opportunity, or an experience that simply left you with a new bounce and spring in your gait? "A a manner of walking, stepping, or running," is the definition of gait. Well, I am absolutely walking with a new spring right now, all due to my experience in Memphis, TN this past weekend.

It was unlike anything I expected, yet it was a weekend full of disappointment and frustrations. There is no way I should have come from this weekend with the uplifted spirit that I have right now. From all indications, I should be highly upset and in complete disgust.

But I'm not. And I believe it is because of my passion for life and of course, the leading and guidance of God's Spirit.

Let me explain. I'd prepared for this trip to Memphis for several months. My first form of commitment to this "investment in me" was to register for this writer's conference that was celebrating 11 years of existence. "Oh, this ought to be fantastic," I thought. As another month passed, I was still excited and sure about my commitment to myself, so I went on and made hotel reservations. So sure of myself, I even pre-paid because I wanted that expense out of the way.

Over the last several months, I've been very busy with other activities and opportunities, and certainly with new doors that have opened for me. Yet, I remained excited about the writer's conference and expected to walk away with new resources and motivation to keep me going in my journey. I have an insatiable desire to learn and for empowerment, and I expected nothing less than that from the conference.

That is what I expected, and that is what I walked away with, however, how I got it was quite different from what I imagined.

To begin with, I was disappointed with my hotel. I won't call the name because I am not about bashing anyone. But, I can tell you this, I will NEVER recommend them to anyone. Then, I was disappointed with the online agency I used to book my room because they failed to tell me about additional fees that would be required when I checked in. I can't say that I won't recommend them to anyone, but I would caution that you call the hotel directly if you ever go this route and find out from them directly if they require additional fees. Additionally, it's always good to keep records. I am an incurable pack-rat, and I do hold on to a lot of stuff. That really is my nature (unfortunately), but it is also a good thing. I had my printed confirmation and there was no record of any additional fees that were required by me. So, the hotel couldn't hold that against me (and it's always a good thing to be able to talk persuasively and fast and to be ready and able to hold your own when standing up for yourself).

I finally made it up to my room, hot and tired from the drive from Mississippi, and the very busy day I had prior to hitting the highway. I'd been up since a little before 5:00 am and my intentions were to get my daughter dressed and ready for school, and then return back to bed for more sleep. You know that never happened, now don't you! Didn't get much sleep the night before because I was busy doing stuff in preparation for my trip. I, of course, had to make sure that everything was okay at home. Made the necessary arrangements for my daughter, made provisions for my husband, took care of all that I needed to........except things for me! So, that morning, I finished writing the material I was working on for a 3-day class/workshop that I'm teaching this week. I needed to get the completed information into the program's leaders actually by Saturday. Well, since I wasn't going to be there on Saturday, I had to get it to them before I left.

I did. I spent the rest of the morning polishing it up and adding more content to the material. Well, those 4-hours of final writing truly set me back time-wise. On top of everything, there was one crucial thing that hadn't occured yet. I needed to pack! I wish I could be more like a former co-worker in New Orleans. I'll never forget the time that she and I, along with several other co-workers attended a week-long training in Dallas, TX. Well, about 2 weeks before we left, my dear co-worker asked me if I was finished with my packing yet. FINISHED!?! I hadn't even thought about packing by then. I have traveled often and unfortunately (or not), I usually don't "finish" or even "begin" until the night before. And I don't know if it's just a mental thing with me, but most of the time, I rarely sleep or I may get very little sleep the night before traveling. I don't know why, but I've always been like that. So, definitely, I'm normally in full swing with my packing then. I generally know what I'm taking, I know where everything is, and it's just a matter of putting it all together. As I told my co-worker, I may not pack physically long in advance, but I eventually do so mentally.

Anyway, I am finally in my hotel room. Fatigue has now hit me like a ton of bricks. It was hot, I'd driven for about 3 and a half hours from Crystal Springs non-stop to Memphis. And I'm "old school" (or call it thrifty and economical if you'd please), I'd packed a couple of sandwiches from home, which served as my dinner (ah.......visions of "Fred Sanford" traveling with his greasy paper bagged lunch comes to mind, doesn't it?! ). Visions and memories of my childhood came to mind as well. I have traveled quite a bit because my father was in the Navy, and we were always being "stationed" somewhere and we would pack the station wagon and travel all over. I think that's why I enjoy traveling so much even now in my adulthood. But, as a child, I didn't realize that we were "poor", I thought everything was an adventure. Mama ALWAYS fried chicken for us, packed a lot of sandwiches, and she always included cans and cans of Vienna Sausages and Potted Meat. We always had PB&J as well. My brothers and I thought we were having fun. It wasn't until my own adult years and the times I've traveled with my own family that I realized that Mama was being economical! I do have fond memories of one particular time, as we traveled through that HUGE state of Texas, when my parents did "splurge". We ate dinner in the hotel's restaurant (which was something that we simply did not do other times) one night. I don't know if we had extra money or what, but we ate that night and they had an "all you can eat fried chicken" special. This was before the days of buffets. Well, we were children then, but my brothers were heavy hitters and could put away some good food! I am chuckling as I write this, and I know that my brothers are too if they're reading. I remember Mama saying, "Hmmm, all you can eat, huh? They just don't know who they're talking to!" They ran into the wrong family!!! We must've ordered four or five times, at least, after the initial serving!

Well, my bologna and cheese sandwich was good for dinner! I'm glad I saved that little money from needing to buy dinner because I was going to need it the next couple of days for parking fees...........some unnecessary due to the unorganization of the writer's conference! Little did I know that first night what I was in store for.

What was the first day of the conference proved to be an incredible let down and absolute total flop! I won't go into all of the details because again, I am not about bashing anyone. In fact, I hope that if the organizer of this conference attempts it again next year, it is successful. But, I will say this. I won't be there! I believe that intentions were good, but there was extreme unorganization all around.

It was frustrating, and every single person there was upset and disappointed. But, there were a group of participants who left a great lesson with me. They reminded me why I was there. They reminded each other. They were comforting. I was reminded that we never know where our blessings may come from and not to lose hope when things don't work out exactly how you planned them.

All of the "promised" events didn't take place, but what did occur was empowering for me. I learned a great deal and I believe that I made great connections. A lot of networking took place. And let me tell you this....the most amazing thing happened over this weekend. People knew ME. Yes, ME, ole "insignificant" Carla. One author, in fact, asked me specifically why she wasn't receiving my inspirational messages anymore. She was once on one of my lists, but after awhile, we lost contact. I first met her some years ago in Birmingham at another conference. Her name is Pat G'Orge-Walker, who is known by many as "Sister Betty". She originated Gospel Comedy some years back and began a new genre in writing.

Pat was also a panelist during the 2nd and final day of the conference. She was superb and it was from this day that I received my biggest shot in the arm of enthusiasm and the beginning of the new spring in my step. I was so inspired and encouraged by all of the meat that I was fed there.

I was happy to meet so many authors. Again, I was known by some whom I've been privileged to know from various online groups. Michelle Larks is one sister I would like for you to check out and support her work.

The conference really got off on the wrong foot and a bad start for a number of reasons. I do seriously hope that it's more organized next year and that the communication is much better. But I appreciate the stamina and good spirits of the authors who were there. They encouraged me so much and I'll never forget that.

Because I don't have my own published book...........yet........I was referred to as an "aspiring author". That was like a wake-up call for me because that "title" went against my grain. And that's because I KNOW that I am not simply "aspiring", I know that I "am". I was born a writer and it's something I've known all of my life. As I've often stated, I was writing even before I knew how to pick up a pencil and write my own name. It wasn't until a few years ago that I finally acknowledged who I am, and what I am. And it wasn't until recently that I decided that I am going to walk in my purpose and be all that I can be. I vow to myself, and to you, that for the next writer's conference I attend, I will be presented as Carla Y. Nix, the published author!


Freeze Frame!
The last leg of my springy-step-awakening took place on my last day in Memphis. I had the profound honor of FINALLY meeting a dear friend of mine. His name is John Gilmore and he is the leader and spiritual guide of the Open Heart Spiritual Center. I met him in 1993, long before Open Heart was founded. We met online during a time when electronic communication was still very new. Some of you may be familiar with Prodigy, which was pretty big back in the day with the interactive electronic bulletin boards here in cyberspace.

John has always been a voice of reason and a myriad of wisdom and soundness. I can truly say that he has been like a big brother to me (well, we're the same age......but a big brother nonetheless). I think that he's a prodigy himself, born way ahead of his time. If you look up the word "mentor" in the dictionary, I am sure that John's picture would be there!

So, after 14 years of communicating with John, I have finally met him face-to-face. In a place where he is most comfortable, and where he belongs.....at Open Heart. His congregation was so warm and gracious. They greeted me with opened arms and treated me in a way that was genuine and free. I'll be honest and admit that because I knew that I was of a different "denomination" (for lack of a better word) than Open Heart's, I wasn't quite sure of what to expect, nor how I would feel. But, because I knew of the kind of person that John was, what I received there did not surprise me. I could not have met a better group of people. Nor, could I have enjoyed a better service. I loved the atmosphere and the spirit that enveloped me. Most of all, I thoroughly enjoyed the Message as delivered by John entitled "The Joseph Journey". One of my top favorites in the Bible. In fact, my very own pastor recently completed a series of studies on Joseph. Additionally, I've read and have heard a number of sermons regarding Joseph (beginning at Genesis 37) many times. Yet, John delivered the message with yet another twist, or from a different angle, that was well appreciated by me. It was extremely timely for me and it fell right in line with everything I'd gone through over the weekend with the disappointments and the not-so-perfect conference.

John spoke of Joseph's transformation and vividly pointed out that the Joseph who ended up being second in command in Egypt was not the same Joseph who danced around in his coat of many colors as a boy. Every single obstacle and tragedy that Joseph experienced shaped him, strengthened him, matured him, and equipped him to become the powerful man that he'd risen to. Joseph was transformed and had to move out of what John calls a "freeze frame" mentality. Had he remained there, he undoubtedly would not have helped his brothers when he had the opportunity to hurt them as much as they'd hurt him.

I thoroughly enjoyed the message and if I don't remember anything else, I will always be reminded to move out of the "freeze frame" mentality. I know that personally, I do have a problem of letting go. Holding on makes it nearly impossible to move forward.

I had a Life Coaching session this evening, and one thing I was reminded of is that we are what we think. As I stated that I was a writer, that it wasn't just a hobby or something I just happen to do, my coach put another interesting twist on it. He pointed out that another way to look at that is for me to acknowledge and maintain that I was BORN to write. I was created to write. I was designed to write. I'd never looked at it like that before, and as we talked, yet another spring was added to my step!

This all goes hand-in-hand with my experience at John's church. I was given the privilege of speaking before the congregation. It was an honor to do so and I did what I also know that I was born to do........to INSPIRE. I just hope that my words did touch and encourage hearts. That is my greatest, yet simplest desire in life. I believe that my desire was fulfilled!

Thank you, Open Heart, for the impression you've signed upon MY heart.

The Choice is Always Ours
You and I decide our actions, and even our outcomes and attitudes. Life isn't always fair and people will fail us. We mess up. We make mistakes. We hurt one another. Plans fall apart. As "willy-nilly" as I may seem, I am really a pretty structured person. I enjoy structure and limits in my life. I am not very disciplined, yet I thrive on being forced to discipline myself. I am probably the most complex and paradoxical person I know. So, when structure is removed, I tend to become quickly frustrated and dismayed. The fact that the writer's conference had very little structure and massive unorganization threw me off guard. I didn't expect it and I initially did not know how to react. But, I am so thankful for the other participants who encouraged me. I appreciate them reminding me of my purpose of being there. As Pat O'Gorge-Walker said, this conference was an investment in myself. I put something into the trip to Memphis, and with the help of God, I was going to take something positive away from it.

That, I did! There were lessons there, and as the saying goes, "the teacher will arrive when the student is ready." I was ready, and boy, did I learn a lot!

I walked away like a slinky! Multiple springs in my step!

I thank everyone who played such a significant role in my experience.

Now, I am more determined than ever to carry on in my journey. I again state that I am walking in my purpose. This weekend in Memphis was just one leg in that journey.


I cannot express enough my mantra......life should be lived and not simply endured. I wish each of you springy steps, a boost in morale, and a true passion for life!

Thanks for all of your love and support. Remember, feel free to contact me at any time.



Remember that if you would like for me to speak to your group, church, or youth group for inspiration, motivation, and/or teaching, drop me an email at carlanix1@aol.com. Visit my website at www.carlanix.com for more information on me as well.

Remember Noah?

When Noah built the ark under the divine leadership of God, he also had a message to relay. He built that ark by hand (no fancy construction equipment back then). He prepared his family. He preached the message that it was going to rain. Folks thought he was crazy and refused to listen to his message.

Sometimes it's the same way with us today. You may have a message to deliver. You may have a product to produce. You may have a word to give. You may have a service to provide. You may have something that you are truly passionate about and you are compelled to deliver that message. But no one seems to be listening. Perhaps doors are being closed in your face. People may be turning you away. You may be rejected.

I'm here to encourage you to keep on nailing that ark. Keep on sharing your message. Keep on providing that service.

If you don't believe in you, who will?

Don't give up. Keep on building. One day, your ark will sail.

Be blessed!

A Warm Fuzzy...

Just feeling a little sentimental and gooey right now. I have to dab away tears (of happiness and joy) when I think of this because it's just an indication of how far God has brought us, and how He's blessed us.

Last night, our church acknowledged and honored Jerry and I. It was a surprise to us. Last night was one of those "100 Men in Black" programs, and the pastor had appointed Jerry as the coordinator. The service turned out really nice and the purpose of it was to make a statement and stand regarding unity and the importance of real mean serving God. Serving God by serving the community and individuals.

Anyway, everything went well, and it was at the end that they surprised us. First, Jerry made presentations as is common and customary for such a program. Then, we were asked to come to the front. The presentation was wonderful. The presenter stated that the church is happy for "Katrina". That she blew us their way. They thanked us for all of the work that we've done since we've been here. They appreciate us. Love us. Etc. It was so beautiful and moving, particularly when both of us don't feel that we've done anything that would warrant such acknowledgement. They said that they enjoy our teaching, leadership, ministering, etc., and they really encouraged us.

Now, I'm not necessarily stating all of this to say "look at what we've done". Quite the contrary, in fact. I'm sharing this to say, "look what God has done!" I can't help but to think back. Two years ago at this time, Jerry and I were still separated. We were still hurting and I honestly believed that we would be another statistic. I thought that it was over for us. I was still very angry, hurt, and not even sure who Carla was anymore. But God undoubtedly began to mend both of us and He slowly restored us. Since we reconciled in July 2005, our lives definitely took on a new direction with the first major event being that of Hurricane Katrina. I know of couples who have not survived the storm! Oh, I'm not talking about the actual storm of Katrina, but their relationships fell apart during the aftermath. God gave us just the opposite reaction. We grew and strengthed greater as a result.

We do work well together in ministry, but most importantly, as a couple. And even more than that, we have grown by leaps and bounds as individuals.

All I can say is that God can do anything........we are a walking testimony to that! So, the little recognition was not that of us as mere pions. But, in my mind, it was recognition and honor of the goodness and greatness of God!

Okay.......here I go dabbing away the tears again!

Be blessed and be encouraged from my experience.

Carla Y. Nix
Visit my websites: www.CarlaNix.com and www.freewebs.com/passion4life
My blogs: www.myspace.com/carlanix and www.blogspot.com/carlanix
My Internet Talk Radio Show: www.blogtalkradio.com/passion4life

What a week!

Last week was quite interesting for me. As always, it was jam packed and exciting. I don't know the meaning of boredom or doldrum. It doesn't exist in my life (thank God), but last week was just a bit more active.

I began the week being under the weather. It actually began that Sunday. By Monday morning, I was feeling so bad from a cold that just overtook me, that I didn't even go into work. That's unusual for me. I am rarely out sick (thank God for that). I just couldn't pull myself together Monday morning. However, Monday night, I was able to gather the wherewhithal to conduct my Passion4Life radio show (www.blogtalkradio.com/passion4life). If I did not have a guest, I may have cancelled, but I was commited to bringing forth this particular show. As it turns out, it was one of my most listened to (live and via the archived show at the website).

I went into work on Tuesday, but was still feeling weak, however much better (I was able to BREATHE! My head was no longer stopped up). Therefore, I was able to function for the entire day.

Wednesday, I felt 100% stronger and was so happy to be that way. It's a terrible feeling when you're weak. I'm not used to it and I'm thankful to have regained my strength.

I was in a "praise" mood all day on Wednesday. Was just thanking God for no particular reason. Just because! He is awesome and I relish in His blessings. Well, later that evening, He provided a reason for me to rejoice even more. My husband purchased our brand new riding mower (tractor). I know, it doesn't seem like something to be all giddy about, as I've been, but it is when you have 8 acres of land that God blessed you with and all of that lawn needs to be maintained. The 8 acres is what our house is sitting on. The house that God blessed us to purchase in October. A wonderful new home that has double the blessing and meaning to us because we now have our own home after losing absolutely everything in New Orleans in Hurricane Katrina. Perhaps you've never been in a position where you no longer had your own. Where you had nothing. Where you didn't even have an address anymore. Although we were blessed to find shelter and live with relatives, it definitely is not the same as having and living in your own home. Your own house. Your own place. Your own independence.

So, God restored and blessed us with our own home, and that includes all of this beautiful land that we must maintain. We're happy to, and we're even happier that He provided us with the riding mower. There is no way that we could cut this grass with a regular push mower.

So, I rejoiced.

Additionally on Wednesday night was my broadcast of Passion4Life with Lamont Carey. A wonderful man, an extraordinary poet, and a blessing to many. I hope you're able to check out the show at www.blogtalkradio.com/passion4lfe.

And then on Thursday, I rejoiced even more. I was able to purchase a new computer. I'm on it now and loving it. As with everything else, I lost my computer in Katrina. Several months after the storm, I managed to get a laptop. I hate the laptop! I know that most "normal" people prefer a laptop, but I'm not "normal" and I don't! Besides, it was minimally equipped and I was outgrowing it. In fact, it's begun to simply shut off for no reason. I now have my desktop setup and I've also added my "office" in my home. Well, actually, it's just an area where I set up a desk and work space. I need it badly. Afterall, I am writing my book (see my website www.carlanix.com) and I'm doing a lot more work here at home. God's been blessing me with so many opportunities.

On Friday, I took (and passed) a certification exam at work whereas now I am certified to administer testing for others to become certified in areas such as CISCO, etc. (computer certifications). I was happy to pass. I hate to fail at anything!

Just prior to my taking the exam, I got a call with a wonderful offer. I've been asked to work with someone to write a biography. It is a huge undertaking and they're asking that it is completed in one year.

So, I know that I'll be quite busy (as always) in the days and months to come.

I'm still feeling very good from church services today. Another door God opened for me (or, I guess I should call it an assignment) is that I am now a member of the newly formed Praise and Worship Team. Just like the radio show, this is something that is right up my alley. It's natural for me and something that I thoroughly enjoy doing. It's not an act. It's not a task. It's an honor, privilege, and a joy!

I'm just praising God and I thank Him for everything's He's doing in my life.

Dreams do come true...

I am still rejoicing and feeling ever so grateful to God. He has truly blessed my family and I in so many ways.

I'm feeling particularly happy right now. God has blessed me to realize some of my dreams. I am here to tell you that when you believe and have faith, God will bless you with the desires of your heart.

It's a good feeling to recognize your purpose in life and to walk in that purpose. Putting God first in all matters, He will direct your path. I am a witness to that.

I feel good and happy when I'm able to do things that I enjoy and help others along the way. It honestly is my one desire in life to be a blessing to others. God is granting this desire.

It is my goal now to train and teach others to reach this same level. To recognize their gifts, talents, and their purpose. We all have a reason for being here. We all have an assignment that we much complete. It's an awesome feeling when we learn what that assignment is and to embrace it gladly.

Dreams do come true. Just keep believing.

Blessed!

Blessed! That's me. I'm just feeling blessed right now. Loving life. Loving God. Loving all that He's blessed me with.

I am praising God.........oh, for no particular reason.......I just want to praise Him. You know, too often, we only go to God when things are going bad, and we tend to only want to praise Him when everything is going well. But, we miss out when we do that. What about those in-between times? Doesn't God STILL deserve praise? After all, He is God and although our situations may change, He doesn't change. He is still good.

When things are "okay" and we don't feel the urgency to call on God for assistance, that really is no excuse not to go to Him. We should still pray. We should always thank Him for His blessings, and recognize Him for who He is. The reason to pray is not simply to ask God (or, as many of us do, beg God) for the things that we need and want.

So, I am in this praise mode right now where I am just giving it all to Him. I am so thankful for everything. I thank Him for being God. I thank Him for loving me. Providing for me. Taking care of me. Protecting me. I thank Him for being God!

I am blessed!

The Best is Yet to Come!

Hi Everyone,

Please take the time to listen in to my very own Internet talk radio show. My show is named "Passion4Life". I broadcast at least once a week. You may listen to my previous shows from the archives at www.blogtalkradio.com/passion4life. Or, go to the P4L website at www.freewebs.com/passion4life. You will find a link/button that will bring you directly to the radio show site.

When you visit the P4L website, please sign the guestbook to let me know that you were there. You will also find out more about me and services that I offer. You can also access that info at www.carlanix.com.

Please stay tuned because I have an inspirational e-booklet coming out within the next couple of months named "Beyond the Exit". The booklet will be available for sale through both websites: www.carlanix.com and www.freewebs.com/passion4life.

Thanks for your support!

God bless you always!

Walking in my purpose

I'm feeling awfully blessed right now. Incredibly blessed. Undeservedly blessed. Outrageously blessed. Madly blessed!

Simply because I am feeling, for the first time, that I am truly walking in my purpose. Living the purpose that God designed me for.

God is opening doors and opportunities whereas I am being allowed to do the things that I know He has planted in me. I've been asked to do some workshops, trainings, and consulting. I know......I know.......people do these all of the time. So true! But I hope that if they do, they are doing so because they are called to do so. Not just for pay.

When one is called to do something, they will do so for the shear satisfaction of knowing that you're doing what you are purposed to do.

I am so thankful and outright grateful to God for what He is doing in my life. What a wonderful feeling of walking in my purpose!

Thank You Jesus!

Right up my alley!

I am so excited! I have discovered a new venue for me to use my talents. That is being a radio talk show hostess. I am sure that this blog radio talk concept is not very new, but it's new to me. And it's right up my alley! I can host my own show, format and program it as I please, I can invite guest if I'd like. In fact, that's how I discovered it. I was invited as a guest for someone else's show.

With this show, I have scheduled three segments so far (that's the max they allow you to schedule as a new host). I have already begun to formulate my schedule with the list of topics I will cover.

I will be busy doing a lot of writing, studying, and preparation.

I guess you wonder why I'm doing this. It's not a "job". I'm not being paid. I might not even receive notice for it. But, it's something that I want to do. I have many messages and I am driven to get them out.

I'm just so excited.

This is the information and link for my show - yes, my show - Passion For Life!

BROKEN TREES

I had a wonderful weekend. I spent it with both of my brothers and family. We celebrated Michael's birthday with him and his family in Biloxi. Ira lives in San Leandro, CA, but he flew down south so that he could be a part of the celebration. You see, it was Michael's 50th birthday. A fine milestone worth celebrating.

Ira flew into the Jackson, MS airport and he spent Friday with me and my family. I was thrilled to have my brother here in my new house.

Ira and I drove to New Orleans on Saturday morning. This was his first time seeing the city after Katrina. He was last there a few months before the hurricane hit. Since New Orleans is our home, he really needed to see the condition with his own eyes.

The weather was terrible as we took the 2 1/2 hour drive. It rained relentlessly the entire drive. Cold and rainy, quite miserable!

Ira had to agree that seeing the city with his own eyes didn't compare to the images he's seen in pictures and on television. The Lower 9th Ward, our neighbor, is still in total disarray. It's a deserted area. There is no life. Not even cats and dogs were there. We did see, however, tour buses driving through, as well as other people whom we knew were not former residents of the area. Sight seers! It really got to me, truly ticked me off. Particulary the tour bus. I am sure that someone is profiting from the tours, and I just don't think that's right.

We made a couple of stops before we left New Orleans. We stopped by and visited my friend Corbie, who interestingly enough went to high school with me. We had a fantastic visit as she showed us the progression of the rebuilding of her home. It is simply gorgeous and I am so happy that things are coming together for her.

We then drove to Biloxi, MS. As we traveled on I-10, I saw an amazing sight. All along the highway were trees.........many trees. Trees that's been there for many years. But, they were broken! It was apparent that Hurricane Katrina blew through New Orleans and all down to the gulf coast (Biloxi and Gulfport, MS). Her fury was visible just by looking at those trees. I mean, we have all seen the pictures of the houses that were destroyed (our own being among them), and the images of the flooding, and all of the devastation of the people. Images of Katrina; they're probably etched in our minds. But, these trees stood out to me and its' image was profound!

I saw miles and miles of broken trees. They snapped from the middle and the brokenness was vibrant and loud! It was as though they were yelling at me. They begged to be noticed, to be seen. They spoke to me and shouted.....CARLA, WE ARE STILL STANDING!

Hurricane Katrina may have snapped them, broke them in half........yet, those bad boys were still standing! And then I heard, CARLA......YOU ARE STILL STANDING! The hurricane caused a snap in my life. She devastated a mighty blow. Slowed me down. Chopped some of me off. Shedded some of my branches. Shook me up and had me swaying in the wind. But, I AM STILL STANDING!

I then heard two songs in my mind. Bishop Paul Morten's song.....aptly titled, "I'm Still Standing", which is a mighty testimony of his tenacity after Katrina and other crucial events in his life. I also heard "Broken but Healed" by Byron Cage (I believe.......please correct me if I'm wrong).

We eventually made it to Biloxi to be with Michael. Now, Mike and his family are also survivors of Katrina. She came through and destroyed their home that August 29, 2005 fateful day. They had to flee as well and ended up in Columbia, MO (near St. Louis). They decided to return to Biloxi just a few months ago because Michael simply loves the beach. Biloxi and the entire gulf coast area is a beautiful place. I am so happy that they were able to find a new house and rebuild their lives as well. I was happy.......joyful......grateful.........and I praised God for blessing them so. As I enjoyed myself for Mike's birthday gathering and had a wonderful time with both of my brothers and Mike's family, I could not help but thank God for all that he's done for my family.

As we drove back to my home this afternoon, I again saw more broken trees. This time I praised God. I pray that my family and I will continue to stand tall and strong like those trees........and another song played in my heart and mind........"I shall not be moved. Just like a tree, planted by the water, I shall not be moved".

Oh Well...

Oh well.........my New Orleans Saints fell short in the NFC championship match yesterday. I am really upset about that and my heart goes out to the players. The team did their best and they've come such a long way. It's taken 40 years, the team's entire history, to even get to this point. So, their performance this year has been exemplary and I am so proud of them.

I actually cried for them. My heart really ached. But, I hope that the players know that they have nothing to feel bad about. They are still our champions.

Today, I am wearing black and gold ("Saints Gold") just to honor them and to remember that hard work pays off.

On the other side of the coin is still something to celebrate and rejoice about. History was still made on Sunday. For the first time EVER in NFL history are two teams in the Super Bowl headed by African American coaches!!!! Yippee!!!

The commentators and other non-Black people were on the television stating that they don't see the "hype" in this. They don't understand why this is such a victory for the African American community. They just don't get the big deal.

Well, I guess we really can't expect them to understand. It's okay. As long as we know and we understand the significance of this. It shows that barriers have been broken and because of their diligent and hard work, these two coaches have paved the way for many.

The world may not understand that we have been unfairly treated forever, and now that we're finally afforded an equal opportunity (that's all we've asked for - the one thing that Dr. King died for - equality), we are doing more of the things that we are gifted to do. For the life of me, I do not understand why or how the NFL of old would not even allow an equal chance for Black men to serve in the position of coach. Not only head coach, but remember we weren't even quarterbacks!

And they don't understand....

Oh well!

Congratulations to OUR coaches!

Go Saints!!!

ALL I CAN SAY IS.....HOW 'BOUT THEM SAINTS???!!!!

My New Orleans Saints are marching right on in and it is a TREMENDOUS, CRAZY, OVERWHELMING, JOYOUS feeling!

The Saints' story right now is one that all of us can probably relate to. See, the city of New Orleans and surrounding areas (yep, even the folks here in Jackson, MS are huge Saints fans) have loved and supported the team for years. No matter how gloomy things looked, the diehards NEVER gave up. The simple saying of "There's always next year" has been spoken for decades! No matter what shannigans took place (remember the era of Mike Ditka as coach and then rookie Rickie Williams?!), no matter how much we looked like bumbling idiots and the keystone cops, no matter how many years some fans even wore bags over their heads and called our team the "Aints"........there was always hope!

It's been a long, hard road, but this team and the "Coach of the Year", Sean Peyton, has done what's NEVER been done before. We are facing Da Bears for the championship........but what's being seen even more, is that we are in a direct line for the Super Bowl!!!!

I am not all that sports savvy, so I certainly don't know it all. But, I do applaud Coach Peyton. I absolutely love what he did prior to the Philadelphia Eagles game (last week). Before they EVEN played that game, during the week prior to that, he sent a copy of the itinerary to each player for the Chicago Bears game! Not only were they not playing the game they needed yet to win to get to Chicago, they were playing the game before that.

He did something that I tell people all of the time about their own lives.......and something that I have had to learn to do for my own. That is to SEE where you want to be. No matter how dismal things may look today, this week, this month, this year.....we have to SEE our victory! We have to visualize. And it's hard to see something that we don't believe.

The question for you (and I) is, do you believe? Do you believe that you CAN......wait, not only can, but that you WILL get to that place that you desire to be? Are you on the horizon of a championship? Are there obstacles facing you that stand in your way? What do you want? How bad do you want it? Are you willing to put the work in to get there? Do you BELIEVE that you can do it?

Victory feels good, particularly when you're only accustomed to losing. Eventually, something has to click inside of you that will propel you higher. All of the naysayers have to be left behind. All of the past failures must be forgotten. All of the doubts that continually roll around in your brain telling you that you'll never succeed must be stopped! You have the power to change it all because you have the ability to change your thoughts. Change your thoughts, and you change your life.

Of course it is my hope that the Saints will march right on in to the Super Bowl, and come out as the winner. I know that it's possible. Who would've thought???? Who would've thought??? But you know what, they are already champions, they are already victors, because they believed and never gave up. I guess the Super Bowl ring on their fingers will only make that victory all the sweeter.

You too are victors. You just have to live what you believe.

The Me Of Today

"I only wish I had the me of today when I was the me of yesterday".
~Carla Young Nix

Okay.....y'all know that I love quotes that are profound and that make an impact on me. Now, as you can see, those words above are mine. I don't know how profound they are, but they did make an impact. I stated these words to someone as I explained to them a burning calling on me in the marriage ministry that God has blessed me to serve as Director. God showed me additional work He would like for me to do in that ministry.

It is my pleasure to answer this call because my heart is strongly in this ministry and with the people whom I serve. What God is having me to do is to be person for my sisters and brothers that I needed for me when I went through a very dark time in my own life and marriage.

You know the saying, "If I only knew back then what I know today". How many times do we feel this way? And this is good because it shows growth and development in our lives. However, what we know today is not solely for us. It is for us to reach back, turn around, look to the side.....whatever is necessary....to give to others. To be to others what they need to succeed.

Too many people have the mentality that they made it on their own, and as such, they are not responsible for helping anyone else to make it. That is so untrue! And if you think about it, you did not make it on your own. I know without a doubt that there is somebody who helped you along the way. Think about how much you appreciate that. So, why not be that to someone else? And why not be what you wished was available to you when you needed help?

You are a walking source of knowledge, skills, learned-lessons, wisdom, talent. Just remember that you should pass it on. Look how far you've come. Be to others what you needed to succeed.

I read something the other day that encouraged us to do something for someone every day that you are not paid to do. Do something for someone who cannot pay you back. Do something for others just because you can and because you have an earnest desire to simply make the way a little easier for them. Expecting nothing in return.

I leave you with words from Ghandi - "Be the change you want to see in the world."

I'm Back

It wasn't until someone recently nudged me and told me that it has been almost a year since I've last posted an entry here. My goodness! I didn't realize that it had been so long. All I know is that I've been very busy with just about everything, and I simply let this get by me. That's a shame!

Well, it's a new year. A new me. Hopefully, a better me, and as such, I want to do better in everything. My personal theme for this new year is "REVVIN' IN 2007" Yep, I am accelerating, increasing, and improving.

Stay tuned for more from me.