The Weight of Unforgiveness

WALKING IN YOUR PURPOSE - Part 2 - FREE TELECLASS


Date: Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Time: 8:00 pm CST / 9:00 pm EST / 6:00 pm PST / 7:00 pm MST

This segment will focus on a major component that hold many of us back. We cannot fully walk in our purpose with the baggage of unforgiveness weighing us down.

Do you carry this bag? Have you been hurt and you don't know how to forgive? Do you suffer daily because you're being controlled by your pain and disappointment? Do you find it impossible to be happy for others because you are so unhappy? Do you harbor bitterness and resentment?

You cannot be free as long as you refuse to let go. Remember, your new beginnings await you. However, something to think about is that you cannot pour new wine into old wineskins (Mark 2:21-22).

Let's talk about it.

Dial-in number: 1-712-432-3000
Conference Bridge Number: 849296

Blessings Galore!

Carla

WHAT DO YOU SEE:

“Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, "We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it."

But the men who had gone up with him said, "We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are." And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. They said, "The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."~Numbers 13:30 – 33

These are my thoughts on the Giants. Being as the New York Giants just won the Super Bowl against the New England Patriots, you may believe that I this will be about football.

Well……..yes, and no!

If you are not a football fan, you can still see clearly the thoughts I would like to point out here. As always with my writing, this is all about life and purpose, so please indulge me for a moment. It is my prayer that you are blessed by my thoughts on the Giants.

I have to begin with a couple of questions. What do you see when you see yourself? Is your view of yourself dependent upon your circumstances and the issues that surround you?

It was for the Israelite spies who were sent to survey the land that God had already promised them through Moses. In fact, God had already brought them through “hell and high water” to get them to yet another place of deliverance. Caleb heard the report of the spies that the land was exactly as God had promised. A land that flowed with milk and honey. A place that would allow them to prosper in all ways. A place where they could thrive as a people. A land of abundance and vitality. Because God promised them this land, Caleb was ready to take possession because he knew that God was righteous and trustworthy. He knew that God would allow them to be victorious in possessing the land.

But, the spies soured the report by throwing fear and doubt into the picture. Not only that, they hindered the task at hand by viewing themselves as mere “grasshoppers” in the presence of the inhabitants. Thus sealing their destiny. Because they saw themselves as defeated, they knew that they would be seen as grasshoppers in the sight of the “giants”.

Isn’t that just like us? How many times have you not achieved something because you quickly claimed defeat for yourself even before you set out to succeed?
It’s simple. If you believe that you can’t, then you won’t.

The New York Giants were seen as mere grasshoppers in the eyes of most people compared to the New England Patriots over the past two weeks. With good reason, I must say. The Patriots were a dynasty this season. A powerhouse. They were undefeated, heading into the Super Bowl with a perfect record of 18 – 0. They won all of the regular season and post-season games. It was expected that they would have an absolute perfect season by winning the big one – the Super Bowl.
The Giants started off the season on a rocky foot. They’ve had many ups and downs. They were not perfect. Many wondered if quarterback Eli Manning had what it took to lead his team to victory. Yet, no one doubted that quarterback Tom Brady of the Patriots would win…….yet again! This man has won several Super Bowls in the past. Manning had never even stepped foot into a Super Bowl, other than to cheer his big brother Peyton on in last year’s Super Bowl.

I rooted for Eli and the Giants. Perhaps my reasoning was not technical, or realistic, or even savvy. I simply believed that regardless of the obstacles ahead of them, it was possible for them to win. I was told by some (my own husband included) that my thinking was not logical. I was told that that the Patriots were too strong for the Giants. The Giants went in as the underdogs.

All I kept saying was that it was possible for them to win. I truly believed that.
Obviously the Giants believed it themselves because they won!!!
What lessons did I see in this great “upset”?

1. You don’t have to be perfect to be successful.
2. No matter how big the competition is, you can still stand up and be victorious.
3. With God, all things are possible.
4. You have to see yourself as a winner – even against the odds.
5. Others see you as you see yourself.

We face many obstacles in our lives. We are often told that we don’t have what it takes to get the job done. We are plagued with images of the powerful and it is easy for us to believe that we are powerless in comparison. It is difficult to achieve significant feats in the face of adversity, particularly without support from others.

It is important for us to drop the “underdog” mentality in our lives. If we continue to allow giant and even apparent impossible circumstances poison our minds, we will never be able to stand.

Whatever you’re facing right now can be viewed as the Super Bowl of your life. Are you going to allow the naysayers to hold you back? How long will you allow your view of yourself to be distorted due to your lack of confidence?
Snap out of it! Remember Philippians 4:13 – You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Stop telling yourself that you can’t! Otherwise, you won’t.
The choice is yours.

© February 4, 2008

Brand New Day

Today, I feel as though I’m coming out of a fog. As though I’m awakening from a very long sleep. It’s time to bring some organization and order back into my life.
My new lifestyle means a lot of changes. I have to make many adjustments. Now I’m ready to establish a regular schedule that will allow me to do ministry work, write, study for school, study for the trainings and workshops that I am doing, intertwine my coaching practice, work on my book, etc. All in addition to taking care of my family, which is my highest priority next to my relationship with God.

I feel really good about completing an article that I wrote for an online magazine where I am serving as a columnist. I am also writing devotionals for Touching Heart Ministry. Additionally, of course, I am writing for my own endeavors and ministry.
I am ready to bring everything together and in order so that I can feel as though I am productive. I really haven’t felt that way due to being in that stupor. I’m coming out of that fog, though. I feel like I’m in the movie “The Wiz” when they killed the witch Evilene. At that point, the people began to peel off the ugliness and old costumes and they emerged into the light full of brightness and vigor. They finally truly came alive!

There is so much that I want to do and I am really excited about it. I’m still regaining my strength and energy, and I am bouncing back slowly but surely.
I hope to schedule the upcoming teleconferences for “Walking in Your Purpose”, and I’m ready to begin interviewing people again for the radio show. I also am ready to begin public and motivational speaking again. These things do take energy and strength, all of which I have not had regularly since my medical issues.

But I am an overcomer. I am determined, and destined, to walk in my purpose as God has ordered! I rest on the words of Jesus as He said that in this life, we will always have trials and tribulations. But He told us to be of good courage, be of good cheer, for He has already overcome the world. I know that because He has overcome, I too have overcome………simply because of Him. In fact, I am more than a conqueror because He loves me!

Yes, the fog is burning off now and I am looking forward to seeing the sun shining brightly…because the Son is guiding me.

Carla

Rest is Good!

It’s taken me two days to recuperate from a splendid weekend! It was wonderful, but it truly wore me out.

I hosted a birthday dinner party for Jerry’s 50th birthday on Saturday. It was really nice with Jerry’s family here and his co-worker and his wife, and one of his minister friends and his wife. The house was full of love, laughter, warmth, and prayer.

This was the first “big” thing I’ve done since I got sick, and it did take a lot of me. It took its toll. But, I made it through. When it was all over, that is when I felt it! My body felt like a mack truck ran me down as I was in a lot of pain from my neck down to my feet.

Sunday was the Dr. Martin Luther King Commemoration program at church. This is the program that our pastor asked me to coordinate. It turned out very well. I am so pleased from the performance and hard work from all of the children and the other participants. It took a lot of work, but it was worth it. I operated on adrenalin to get through the entire event, as I was still hurting and exhausted from the dinner party the night before.

I am happy that I was able to rest, rest, rest on Monday and Tuesday. I needed it!
Now to move forward to the other projects ahead…

Carla

The Tearful Eyes of Bernice

This is a poem that I wrote for our Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Commemoration Service at my church. I also designed the program cover that is to the right.

Be blessed! I am sure that many of us can relate to this poem.

THE TEARFUL EYES OF BERNICE
By Carla Y. Nix

The tearful eyes of Bernice
Made me cry and also grieve
As one little girl watched another little girl
Mourn before the whole wide world.

That picture remains in my mind today
I can’t believe that 40 years have passed away.
I still feel the powerful grip of grief;
Still feeling sad for Bernice.

That poor little girl had to say goodbye
While on her mother’s lap she lie
A woman of pure grace and strength
Coretta, without Martin, her precious King.

I think often of the great impact he made
I am so thankful for the trail he paved.
And I know that it was only God that gifted King so
In order for this world, and our people, to grow.

I can’t imagine what our lives would have been
If it had not been for Dr. Martin Luther King.
Yet I wonder if my own people will ever appreciate;
I wonder why we are filled with so much hate.

Now grown, this little girl will never forget
The picture, she first saw in Jet
Of MLK’s little girl – his progeny
Those tearful eyes of Bernice.

© January 2008

The Preacher's Wife

That's me! I am always thanking God for blessing my husband and for allowing him to be a minister. My husband's ministerial career and life has grown because he has grown as a man of God. I am extremely proud of my husband and I take great joy in watching him as he does what he loves -- being a mouthpiece for God!

As a preacher's wife, I do go through my own challenges and issues that most lay people cannot relate to. Many simply think that the preacher's wife is just someone who sits in front, smiling sweetly, as her husband does his job. They don't realize that we have our own "jobs" by just wearing the "hat" or "title" of "preacher's wife".

So, I decided to start a new group for preacher wives. The purpose is to be a support and fellowship for these chosen women.

People can join by clicking here.

Blessings!

Carla


groups.yahoo.com/group/Preacher-Wives

Sister Empowering Sisters

I am so excited to announce that I was a featured guest on the Sister Empowering Sisters talk radio show tonight. I am truly honored and I thank Lady Renee for the invitation and the awesome opportunity.

Lady Renee is a powerful woman of God and you really need to listen to her show on a regular basis.

You may listen to my interview by clicking here.



Blessings!

Carla

Pain in the neck...

Well, I’ve finally received the results from my last medical tests. The MRI does not show blockage in my neck (thank you Jesus). However, the doctor says that I do have arthritis there.

Arthritis??!!!

I didn’t even know that you can have arthritis in the neck! However, this does explain all of the pain that I have living and dealing with for the last few years. Back in mid- 2005, when Jerry and I were still separated, I began to suffer with excruciating pain in my neck. Literally! At one point, I could not even turn or move my neck. It felt like an incredible “crook” that would not go away. I also could not move and lift my left arm and both of my shoulders hurt terribly. I ended up going to a neurologist and he ran all kinds of tests too. The MRI showed something going on with my nerves, leaning on my cord. The doctor said that surgery might be necessary, but the condition may relieve itself just as suddenly and quickly as it arose. Lord knows that I did not want to ever have to consider surgery. Eventually, the pain did ease. But, never fully. I was able to move my neck and arm again………..I just learned to tolerate the pain that flared from time to time.

The pain has increasingly become more constant……..but still………I just learned to deal with it. Just going on, never having time to let it stop me, and simply functioning and operating as I need to. It’s amazing how we learn to live in pain. We get used to it. That’s sad! Many’a mornings I awake and can barely move. I just stretch and keep going.

The other test reveals that I do have nerve damage, although the good news is that it is mild. This is causing the numbness, weakness, and even some pain that I am having in my feet, hands, arms, and legs. Some days, it is very difficult for me to comb my daughter’s hair. She’s 10 years old and has extremely thick hair. Lord knows, that girl has some hair on her head. Now, it’s more of a challenge combing it out every day.

Also, unfortunately, I have been finding it difficult to type as I used to. This truly scares me, because some days I have to stop working because my hands and arms get tired and weak, and/or begin to ache. I am a writer! Do you know how much this scares me? I have been praying and asking God not to allow this to affect me in any significant way. Honestly, if the physical ability to write (manually or on the keyboard) is taken away from me…………well, I can’t even imagine it. All I know is that it would equate to taking away my soul!

However, I am just relieved to finally know something.

Sentimental

It’s been an interesting day for me emotionally-wise. I don’t know why, but my mind seemed to be invaded this morning with thoughts of my “past life”, as I call it. Thoughts of “home” (New Orleans). Thoughts of my parents. Thoughts of how much I miss them, and how much I miss home. Although God has blessed us with a new house, a new life, a new place to live, it is still difficult for me to consider this place “home”. It’s special to me and I treasure it because God gave it to us, and I do my best to make it a home for my family. But, “home” will always be back there.

I miss home!

Thoughts of home, of course, brought back so many memories of being there with my parents. My family. Then, I thought of our home………the house that we lived in. The place that I inherited and then began to raise my own family. I thought of all of the love that was expressed in that house. The house that my grandfather built. The house that my parents remodeled. The house that my own children played in.
It’s all gone! It is as though it never existed.

Although I miss the physical place, it is not so much that I do not reside there anymore. What hurts me is that home is no longer there. I can never go back to it because it doesn’t exist. It was the most eerie feeling each time we’ve been back to New Orleans since Hurricane Katrina not to have our home to return to. Additionally, my extended family has scattered as well and their homes are gone as well. Only one cousin, and one in-law, made it through Katrina unscathed as far as their physical property. Yet, they both lament about the vast changes that has taken place in our city. New Orleans is definitely not the same place.

Katrina left a huge foot print on the place, and even more so on our lives.

Certainly New Orleans had, and has, many problems (what place doesn’t?). But, New Orleans also has a culture all its own and like no other. And most of all for me, I had family. None of which I currently have here where we now reside.
Today, thoughts of my recent hospitalization and my ongoing recuperation crossed my mind. Perhaps because I simply went to bed last night feeling sick, and awakening feeling the same. I couldn’t help but think about the days of being in the hospital and these days to follow. It’s been a month now since I was released from the hospital. I thought about how “alone” I’ve felt, and how I know that my family would have been there for me if only we were all still at home. Now, we are scattered all around the country.

I don’t know why I’ve had such sentimental thoughts today. It’s bittersweet for me. See, my thoughts do make me sad, they even make me cry, yet I am so grateful to God for protecting us and blessing us as He has. I am so thankful for the blessings He’s given us. I praise Him and glorify Him for all that He has done. When the thoughts of home and family enter my mind, I normally try to push them out because on one hand it makes me feel like an ingrate. It makes me feel as though having such memories and feelings mean that I am not thankful for what God has done for me. Yet, I know that isn’t true, because I am very much thankful. I further know that out of all of the destruction, God also brought deliverance.
My thinking back does not mean that I have not moved on. It means, I suppose, that I have a rich and glorious pass that is filled with love and family and an incredible sense of home. Some may not be able to say that.

I am thankful to God for all that He has done in my life. I honor Him for blessing me with the family that I miss so much. I praise Him for the memory of my deceased parents who laid the foundation for not only our home, but for the person that they raised me to be.

I guess that it is okay to have something to look back on with fond memories, even if there is heartbreak and pain because what once was, no longer is.

Carla

DESTINY

The Passion4Life Talk Radio Show recorded tonight is available now in the archives. Click here to access the show. I know that you will be blessed from tonight's message.

Passion4Life Talk Radio
www.blogtalkradio.com/passion4life

Enchanted

I am really excited about the progress being made in our practices for the Dr. Martin Luther King commemoration program. I so enjoy working with the children. I have all age groups – from as young as 3 on up to 17. What I love the most is seeing their faces when they do something well and they are proud of themselves. I also enjoy encouraging those who are somewhat lacking. I let them know that I believe in them and I know that they can do it. And you know what? They do it! I love cheering them on for every single little step of improvement!

Because I was asked so late to coordinate the program, it is scheduled for January 27th, which is the Sunday after MLK day. Otherwise, we only had 3 weeks to put a program together. Now, we have a whopping 4 weeks! LOL! This is sad, but it’s working out.

I am having a dinner party for Jerry’s upcoming birthday. He will be 50, so I wanted to do something really nice for him. Nice, but quaint, and not too outlandish. I’m only inviting his family, a few of Jerry’s minister friends, and a few people from his job. I’m debating whether or not to include a big pot of gumbo on the menu. Jerry LOVES my gumbo, and he does want it. But, if I do it for the dinner, then I will have to cook a pretty large batch of it. I’ll see.

Today, I’m somewhat exhausted and sore. It was a full and busy day for me, and I haven’t had one of those in a month now. I had to go back to the doctor’s office this morning to have the test to see if I have nerve damage. When I was there on Tuesday, Dr. Shekoni informed me that the MRI revealed that I have arthritis in my neck. IN MY NECK!!??? Get out of town, I was just too shocked. Yet, I wasn’t surprised because it now explains why I am always in so much pain. Yes, I suffer almost daily with pain in my neck, shoulders, back, lower back. Dr. Shekoni said that the arthritis is leaning against my spinal cord. It all makes sense now. I understand the pain. I’ve simply learned to live with and deal with this pain.

Now, we have to see why I’m still having all of this numbness, tingling, and weakness in my hands, legs, and feet. The nerve test was interesting. It reminded me of an EKG on a smaller scale. They put probes on one of my hands, and sent electrical shock waves through me. It did not hurt, but it felt funny. Buzz! Buzz! Ooooh…….interesting is all I can say.

Now I still have to wait for the results. The technician said that they will be able to tell me late next week. So, once more, I wait…..

Afterwards, I brought Tiffanie to the Mall. She returns to college tomorrow and she wanted to do some shopping before she went. Actually, I gave her money for her birthday gift (Tiff is my new year’s baby – yep, born January 1st), and she wanted to get some clothes. I did some walking, but I ended up taking a seat and let her do her thing while I waited. After the Mall, we went to Wal-Mart to get some other stuff that she needs to take back to campus. Wal-Mart always means a lot of walking! The walking was good for me, but it also took its toll. My right leg is still weak, I also got tired, and my blood sugar dropped too low. So, I was feeling sick, but felt better when we got something to eat (I’d missed lunch, and when I miss meals, my sugar does drop too low).

Anyway, it was a good day, and a beautiful day. But, I do feel quite sore in the hand where they took the nerve test. My other hand is sore as well as my arm. It is somewhat painful for me as I am typing these words. I wanted to do a lot more typing, as I am writing some other projects, etc. But, I will have to call it an early night because of the soreness.

Oh well…….good night. I am looking forward to practicing with the children tomorrow for the MLK program.

I am at peace

Tuesday, January 08, 2008
12:45 pm

I go back to Dr. Shekoni today. He is supposed to give me the results from the MRI that was taken last week of my neck to check for blockage. I personally do not think that there is blockage. At least, I am hoping not. But I know that something isn’t right with me and I am tired of feeling this numbness, weakness, and sometimes even pain. At first, it was only on my right side in my hand and foot/leg. I now feel it on the other side, as well as in my face. I’ve been feeling it even in m lips. Dr. Shekoni is supposed to run another test as well to see if I have nerve damage. From what my brother told me and also from what I’ve read on my own, nerve damage does occur in some diabetics. I just hope that whatever is the problem can be rectified and treated.

I am enjoying this change of pace in my life. I have gotten a lot of rest………..trust me, a lot! Rest is foreign to me . But, it feels good and I do feel better because of it. I do still feel weakness, but I am dealing with it. At times, I still get the headaches, but now I can go lay down and rest when I do. I enjoy being home when my daughter comes home from school. I enjoy having dinner cooked in time for my husband before he leaves for work (he works the 2nd shift – 3pm); and of course it’s ready when my daughter comes home. I enjoy that I haven’t had to punch in a clock in the morning, but can do some work when and IF I feel like it. I love that I have been able to do some household things when I want to, and not as a very rushed weekend event. I mostly enjoy being able to go to bed at a decent time (usually by 8:30 or 9:00 pm).

My goal is to soon develop a schedule for myself. Time for me to write, time to do some online work, time to do some ministry work (both online and off), time to rest, time to read. Hopefully I will be able to do this soon in an organized manner.

On a personal front, I am ready for a new look. I have lost 12 pounds since leaving the hospital. I feel good in that regard. I actually feel lighter. But, I am ready to change my hairdo. I am not ashamed to say that I currently wear a weave. This is not my first one, but I when I feel the urge to do something different, I get one. Now, I am ready to get it out and don my own hair again. What I am not happy about concerning my own hair is that since hurricane Katrina, my hair texture has changed. My hair is much thinner now and so much so, that you can see my scalp in some areas. Alone with the thinness is the texture. It’s a finer texture, yet sort of cottony. My hair has always been very thick, not course, but thick. I don’t know what it is now and although it looks nice for a moment, I don’t like it. The weave has allowed me to take a break from chemicals and the elements. I am seriously considering not returning to the chemicals and to just go natural………ah, but we’ll see. Maybe I’ll get a low cut and let it grow out anew.

We’ll see!

Carla

Something Positive Out Of Adversity

Have you ever walked away from a person, an event, an occasion, an opportunity, or an experience that simply left you with a new bounce and spring in your gait? "A a manner of walking, stepping, or running," is the definition of gait. Well, I am absolutely walking with a new spring right now, all due to my experience in Memphis, TN this past weekend.

It was unlike anything I expected, yet it was a weekend full of disappointment and frustrations. There is no way I should have come from this weekend with the uplifted spirit that I have right now. From all indications, I should be highly upset and in complete disgust.

But I'm not. And I believe it is because of my passion for life and of course, the leading and guidance of God's Spirit.

Let me explain. I'd prepared for this trip to Memphis for several months. My first form of commitment to this "investment in me" was to register for this writer's conference that was celebrating 11 years of existence. "Oh, this ought to be fantastic," I thought. As another month passed, I was still excited and sure about my commitment to myself, so I went on and made hotel reservations. So sure of myself, I even pre-paid because I wanted that expense out of the way.

Over the last several months, I've been very busy with other activities and opportunities, and certainly with new doors that have opened for me. Yet, I remained excited about the writer's conference and expected to walk away with new resources and motivation to keep me going in my journey. I have an insatiable desire to learn and for empowerment, and I expected nothing less than that from the conference.

That is what I expected, and that is what I walked away with, however, how I got it was quite different from what I imagined.

To begin with, I was disappointed with my hotel. I won't call the name because I am not about bashing anyone. But, I can tell you this, I will NEVER recommend them to anyone. Then, I was disappointed with the online agency I used to book my room because they failed to tell me about additional fees that would be required when I checked in. I can't say that I won't recommend them to anyone, but I would caution that you call the hotel directly if you ever go this route and find out from them directly if they require additional fees. Additionally, it's always good to keep records. I am an incurable pack-rat, and I do hold on to a lot of stuff. That really is my nature (unfortunately), but it is also a good thing. I had my printed confirmation and there was no record of any additional fees that were required by me. So, the hotel couldn't hold that against me (and it's always a good thing to be able to talk persuasively and fast and to be ready and able to hold your own when standing up for yourself).

I finally made it up to my room, hot and tired from the drive from Mississippi, and the very busy day I had prior to hitting the highway. I'd been up since a little before 5:00 am and my intentions were to get my daughter dressed and ready for school, and then return back to bed for more sleep. You know that never happened, now don't you! Didn't get much sleep the night before because I was busy doing stuff in preparation for my trip. I, of course, had to make sure that everything was okay at home. Made the necessary arrangements for my daughter, made provisions for my husband, took care of all that I needed to........except things for me! So, that morning, I finished writing the material I was working on for a 3-day class/workshop that I'm teaching this week. I needed to get the completed information into the program's leaders actually by Saturday. Well, since I wasn't going to be there on Saturday, I had to get it to them before I left.

I did. I spent the rest of the morning polishing it up and adding more content to the material. Well, those 4-hours of final writing truly set me back time-wise. On top of everything, there was one crucial thing that hadn't occured yet. I needed to pack! I wish I could be more like a former co-worker in New Orleans. I'll never forget the time that she and I, along with several other co-workers attended a week-long training in Dallas, TX. Well, about 2 weeks before we left, my dear co-worker asked me if I was finished with my packing yet. FINISHED!?! I hadn't even thought about packing by then. I have traveled often and unfortunately (or not), I usually don't "finish" or even "begin" until the night before. And I don't know if it's just a mental thing with me, but most of the time, I rarely sleep or I may get very little sleep the night before traveling. I don't know why, but I've always been like that. So, definitely, I'm normally in full swing with my packing then. I generally know what I'm taking, I know where everything is, and it's just a matter of putting it all together. As I told my co-worker, I may not pack physically long in advance, but I eventually do so mentally.

Anyway, I am finally in my hotel room. Fatigue has now hit me like a ton of bricks. It was hot, I'd driven for about 3 and a half hours from Crystal Springs non-stop to Memphis. And I'm "old school" (or call it thrifty and economical if you'd please), I'd packed a couple of sandwiches from home, which served as my dinner (ah.......visions of "Fred Sanford" traveling with his greasy paper bagged lunch comes to mind, doesn't it?! ). Visions and memories of my childhood came to mind as well. I have traveled quite a bit because my father was in the Navy, and we were always being "stationed" somewhere and we would pack the station wagon and travel all over. I think that's why I enjoy traveling so much even now in my adulthood. But, as a child, I didn't realize that we were "poor", I thought everything was an adventure. Mama ALWAYS fried chicken for us, packed a lot of sandwiches, and she always included cans and cans of Vienna Sausages and Potted Meat. We always had PB&J as well. My brothers and I thought we were having fun. It wasn't until my own adult years and the times I've traveled with my own family that I realized that Mama was being economical! I do have fond memories of one particular time, as we traveled through that HUGE state of Texas, when my parents did "splurge". We ate dinner in the hotel's restaurant (which was something that we simply did not do other times) one night. I don't know if we had extra money or what, but we ate that night and they had an "all you can eat fried chicken" special. This was before the days of buffets. Well, we were children then, but my brothers were heavy hitters and could put away some good food! I am chuckling as I write this, and I know that my brothers are too if they're reading. I remember Mama saying, "Hmmm, all you can eat, huh? They just don't know who they're talking to!" They ran into the wrong family!!! We must've ordered four or five times, at least, after the initial serving!

Well, my bologna and cheese sandwich was good for dinner! I'm glad I saved that little money from needing to buy dinner because I was going to need it the next couple of days for parking fees...........some unnecessary due to the unorganization of the writer's conference! Little did I know that first night what I was in store for.

What was the first day of the conference proved to be an incredible let down and absolute total flop! I won't go into all of the details because again, I am not about bashing anyone. In fact, I hope that if the organizer of this conference attempts it again next year, it is successful. But, I will say this. I won't be there! I believe that intentions were good, but there was extreme unorganization all around.

It was frustrating, and every single person there was upset and disappointed. But, there were a group of participants who left a great lesson with me. They reminded me why I was there. They reminded each other. They were comforting. I was reminded that we never know where our blessings may come from and not to lose hope when things don't work out exactly how you planned them.

All of the "promised" events didn't take place, but what did occur was empowering for me. I learned a great deal and I believe that I made great connections. A lot of networking took place. And let me tell you this....the most amazing thing happened over this weekend. People knew ME. Yes, ME, ole "insignificant" Carla. One author, in fact, asked me specifically why she wasn't receiving my inspirational messages anymore. She was once on one of my lists, but after awhile, we lost contact. I first met her some years ago in Birmingham at another conference. Her name is Pat G'Orge-Walker, who is known by many as "Sister Betty". She originated Gospel Comedy some years back and began a new genre in writing.

Pat was also a panelist during the 2nd and final day of the conference. She was superb and it was from this day that I received my biggest shot in the arm of enthusiasm and the beginning of the new spring in my step. I was so inspired and encouraged by all of the meat that I was fed there.

I was happy to meet so many authors. Again, I was known by some whom I've been privileged to know from various online groups. Michelle Larks is one sister I would like for you to check out and support her work.

The conference really got off on the wrong foot and a bad start for a number of reasons. I do seriously hope that it's more organized next year and that the communication is much better. But I appreciate the stamina and good spirits of the authors who were there. They encouraged me so much and I'll never forget that.

Because I don't have my own published book...........yet........I was referred to as an "aspiring author". That was like a wake-up call for me because that "title" went against my grain. And that's because I KNOW that I am not simply "aspiring", I know that I "am". I was born a writer and it's something I've known all of my life. As I've often stated, I was writing even before I knew how to pick up a pencil and write my own name. It wasn't until a few years ago that I finally acknowledged who I am, and what I am. And it wasn't until recently that I decided that I am going to walk in my purpose and be all that I can be. I vow to myself, and to you, that for the next writer's conference I attend, I will be presented as Carla Y. Nix, the published author!


Freeze Frame!
The last leg of my springy-step-awakening took place on my last day in Memphis. I had the profound honor of FINALLY meeting a dear friend of mine. His name is John Gilmore and he is the leader and spiritual guide of the Open Heart Spiritual Center. I met him in 1993, long before Open Heart was founded. We met online during a time when electronic communication was still very new. Some of you may be familiar with Prodigy, which was pretty big back in the day with the interactive electronic bulletin boards here in cyberspace.

John has always been a voice of reason and a myriad of wisdom and soundness. I can truly say that he has been like a big brother to me (well, we're the same age......but a big brother nonetheless). I think that he's a prodigy himself, born way ahead of his time. If you look up the word "mentor" in the dictionary, I am sure that John's picture would be there!

So, after 14 years of communicating with John, I have finally met him face-to-face. In a place where he is most comfortable, and where he belongs.....at Open Heart. His congregation was so warm and gracious. They greeted me with opened arms and treated me in a way that was genuine and free. I'll be honest and admit that because I knew that I was of a different "denomination" (for lack of a better word) than Open Heart's, I wasn't quite sure of what to expect, nor how I would feel. But, because I knew of the kind of person that John was, what I received there did not surprise me. I could not have met a better group of people. Nor, could I have enjoyed a better service. I loved the atmosphere and the spirit that enveloped me. Most of all, I thoroughly enjoyed the Message as delivered by John entitled "The Joseph Journey". One of my top favorites in the Bible. In fact, my very own pastor recently completed a series of studies on Joseph. Additionally, I've read and have heard a number of sermons regarding Joseph (beginning at Genesis 37) many times. Yet, John delivered the message with yet another twist, or from a different angle, that was well appreciated by me. It was extremely timely for me and it fell right in line with everything I'd gone through over the weekend with the disappointments and the not-so-perfect conference.

John spoke of Joseph's transformation and vividly pointed out that the Joseph who ended up being second in command in Egypt was not the same Joseph who danced around in his coat of many colors as a boy. Every single obstacle and tragedy that Joseph experienced shaped him, strengthened him, matured him, and equipped him to become the powerful man that he'd risen to. Joseph was transformed and had to move out of what John calls a "freeze frame" mentality. Had he remained there, he undoubtedly would not have helped his brothers when he had the opportunity to hurt them as much as they'd hurt him.

I thoroughly enjoyed the message and if I don't remember anything else, I will always be reminded to move out of the "freeze frame" mentality. I know that personally, I do have a problem of letting go. Holding on makes it nearly impossible to move forward.

I had a Life Coaching session this evening, and one thing I was reminded of is that we are what we think. As I stated that I was a writer, that it wasn't just a hobby or something I just happen to do, my coach put another interesting twist on it. He pointed out that another way to look at that is for me to acknowledge and maintain that I was BORN to write. I was created to write. I was designed to write. I'd never looked at it like that before, and as we talked, yet another spring was added to my step!

This all goes hand-in-hand with my experience at John's church. I was given the privilege of speaking before the congregation. It was an honor to do so and I did what I also know that I was born to do........to INSPIRE. I just hope that my words did touch and encourage hearts. That is my greatest, yet simplest desire in life. I believe that my desire was fulfilled!

Thank you, Open Heart, for the impression you've signed upon MY heart.

The Choice is Always Ours
You and I decide our actions, and even our outcomes and attitudes. Life isn't always fair and people will fail us. We mess up. We make mistakes. We hurt one another. Plans fall apart. As "willy-nilly" as I may seem, I am really a pretty structured person. I enjoy structure and limits in my life. I am not very disciplined, yet I thrive on being forced to discipline myself. I am probably the most complex and paradoxical person I know. So, when structure is removed, I tend to become quickly frustrated and dismayed. The fact that the writer's conference had very little structure and massive unorganization threw me off guard. I didn't expect it and I initially did not know how to react. But, I am so thankful for the other participants who encouraged me. I appreciate them reminding me of my purpose of being there. As Pat O'Gorge-Walker said, this conference was an investment in myself. I put something into the trip to Memphis, and with the help of God, I was going to take something positive away from it.

That, I did! There were lessons there, and as the saying goes, "the teacher will arrive when the student is ready." I was ready, and boy, did I learn a lot!

I walked away like a slinky! Multiple springs in my step!

I thank everyone who played such a significant role in my experience.

Now, I am more determined than ever to carry on in my journey. I again state that I am walking in my purpose. This weekend in Memphis was just one leg in that journey.


I cannot express enough my mantra......life should be lived and not simply endured. I wish each of you springy steps, a boost in morale, and a true passion for life!

Thanks for all of your love and support. Remember, feel free to contact me at any time.



Remember that if you would like for me to speak to your group, church, or youth group for inspiration, motivation, and/or teaching, drop me an email at carlanix1@aol.com. Visit my website at www.carlanix.com for more information on me as well.

Remember Noah?

When Noah built the ark under the divine leadership of God, he also had a message to relay. He built that ark by hand (no fancy construction equipment back then). He prepared his family. He preached the message that it was going to rain. Folks thought he was crazy and refused to listen to his message.

Sometimes it's the same way with us today. You may have a message to deliver. You may have a product to produce. You may have a word to give. You may have a service to provide. You may have something that you are truly passionate about and you are compelled to deliver that message. But no one seems to be listening. Perhaps doors are being closed in your face. People may be turning you away. You may be rejected.

I'm here to encourage you to keep on nailing that ark. Keep on sharing your message. Keep on providing that service.

If you don't believe in you, who will?

Don't give up. Keep on building. One day, your ark will sail.

Be blessed!

A Warm Fuzzy...

Just feeling a little sentimental and gooey right now. I have to dab away tears (of happiness and joy) when I think of this because it's just an indication of how far God has brought us, and how He's blessed us.

Last night, our church acknowledged and honored Jerry and I. It was a surprise to us. Last night was one of those "100 Men in Black" programs, and the pastor had appointed Jerry as the coordinator. The service turned out really nice and the purpose of it was to make a statement and stand regarding unity and the importance of real mean serving God. Serving God by serving the community and individuals.

Anyway, everything went well, and it was at the end that they surprised us. First, Jerry made presentations as is common and customary for such a program. Then, we were asked to come to the front. The presentation was wonderful. The presenter stated that the church is happy for "Katrina". That she blew us their way. They thanked us for all of the work that we've done since we've been here. They appreciate us. Love us. Etc. It was so beautiful and moving, particularly when both of us don't feel that we've done anything that would warrant such acknowledgement. They said that they enjoy our teaching, leadership, ministering, etc., and they really encouraged us.

Now, I'm not necessarily stating all of this to say "look at what we've done". Quite the contrary, in fact. I'm sharing this to say, "look what God has done!" I can't help but to think back. Two years ago at this time, Jerry and I were still separated. We were still hurting and I honestly believed that we would be another statistic. I thought that it was over for us. I was still very angry, hurt, and not even sure who Carla was anymore. But God undoubtedly began to mend both of us and He slowly restored us. Since we reconciled in July 2005, our lives definitely took on a new direction with the first major event being that of Hurricane Katrina. I know of couples who have not survived the storm! Oh, I'm not talking about the actual storm of Katrina, but their relationships fell apart during the aftermath. God gave us just the opposite reaction. We grew and strengthed greater as a result.

We do work well together in ministry, but most importantly, as a couple. And even more than that, we have grown by leaps and bounds as individuals.

All I can say is that God can do anything........we are a walking testimony to that! So, the little recognition was not that of us as mere pions. But, in my mind, it was recognition and honor of the goodness and greatness of God!

Okay.......here I go dabbing away the tears again!

Be blessed and be encouraged from my experience.

Carla Y. Nix
Visit my websites: www.CarlaNix.com and www.freewebs.com/passion4life
My blogs: www.myspace.com/carlanix and www.blogspot.com/carlanix
My Internet Talk Radio Show: www.blogtalkradio.com/passion4life

What a week!

Last week was quite interesting for me. As always, it was jam packed and exciting. I don't know the meaning of boredom or doldrum. It doesn't exist in my life (thank God), but last week was just a bit more active.

I began the week being under the weather. It actually began that Sunday. By Monday morning, I was feeling so bad from a cold that just overtook me, that I didn't even go into work. That's unusual for me. I am rarely out sick (thank God for that). I just couldn't pull myself together Monday morning. However, Monday night, I was able to gather the wherewhithal to conduct my Passion4Life radio show (www.blogtalkradio.com/passion4life). If I did not have a guest, I may have cancelled, but I was commited to bringing forth this particular show. As it turns out, it was one of my most listened to (live and via the archived show at the website).

I went into work on Tuesday, but was still feeling weak, however much better (I was able to BREATHE! My head was no longer stopped up). Therefore, I was able to function for the entire day.

Wednesday, I felt 100% stronger and was so happy to be that way. It's a terrible feeling when you're weak. I'm not used to it and I'm thankful to have regained my strength.

I was in a "praise" mood all day on Wednesday. Was just thanking God for no particular reason. Just because! He is awesome and I relish in His blessings. Well, later that evening, He provided a reason for me to rejoice even more. My husband purchased our brand new riding mower (tractor). I know, it doesn't seem like something to be all giddy about, as I've been, but it is when you have 8 acres of land that God blessed you with and all of that lawn needs to be maintained. The 8 acres is what our house is sitting on. The house that God blessed us to purchase in October. A wonderful new home that has double the blessing and meaning to us because we now have our own home after losing absolutely everything in New Orleans in Hurricane Katrina. Perhaps you've never been in a position where you no longer had your own. Where you had nothing. Where you didn't even have an address anymore. Although we were blessed to find shelter and live with relatives, it definitely is not the same as having and living in your own home. Your own house. Your own place. Your own independence.

So, God restored and blessed us with our own home, and that includes all of this beautiful land that we must maintain. We're happy to, and we're even happier that He provided us with the riding mower. There is no way that we could cut this grass with a regular push mower.

So, I rejoiced.

Additionally on Wednesday night was my broadcast of Passion4Life with Lamont Carey. A wonderful man, an extraordinary poet, and a blessing to many. I hope you're able to check out the show at www.blogtalkradio.com/passion4lfe.

And then on Thursday, I rejoiced even more. I was able to purchase a new computer. I'm on it now and loving it. As with everything else, I lost my computer in Katrina. Several months after the storm, I managed to get a laptop. I hate the laptop! I know that most "normal" people prefer a laptop, but I'm not "normal" and I don't! Besides, it was minimally equipped and I was outgrowing it. In fact, it's begun to simply shut off for no reason. I now have my desktop setup and I've also added my "office" in my home. Well, actually, it's just an area where I set up a desk and work space. I need it badly. Afterall, I am writing my book (see my website www.carlanix.com) and I'm doing a lot more work here at home. God's been blessing me with so many opportunities.

On Friday, I took (and passed) a certification exam at work whereas now I am certified to administer testing for others to become certified in areas such as CISCO, etc. (computer certifications). I was happy to pass. I hate to fail at anything!

Just prior to my taking the exam, I got a call with a wonderful offer. I've been asked to work with someone to write a biography. It is a huge undertaking and they're asking that it is completed in one year.

So, I know that I'll be quite busy (as always) in the days and months to come.

I'm still feeling very good from church services today. Another door God opened for me (or, I guess I should call it an assignment) is that I am now a member of the newly formed Praise and Worship Team. Just like the radio show, this is something that is right up my alley. It's natural for me and something that I thoroughly enjoy doing. It's not an act. It's not a task. It's an honor, privilege, and a joy!

I'm just praising God and I thank Him for everything's He's doing in my life.

Dreams do come true...

I am still rejoicing and feeling ever so grateful to God. He has truly blessed my family and I in so many ways.

I'm feeling particularly happy right now. God has blessed me to realize some of my dreams. I am here to tell you that when you believe and have faith, God will bless you with the desires of your heart.

It's a good feeling to recognize your purpose in life and to walk in that purpose. Putting God first in all matters, He will direct your path. I am a witness to that.

I feel good and happy when I'm able to do things that I enjoy and help others along the way. It honestly is my one desire in life to be a blessing to others. God is granting this desire.

It is my goal now to train and teach others to reach this same level. To recognize their gifts, talents, and their purpose. We all have a reason for being here. We all have an assignment that we much complete. It's an awesome feeling when we learn what that assignment is and to embrace it gladly.

Dreams do come true. Just keep believing.

Blessed!

Blessed! That's me. I'm just feeling blessed right now. Loving life. Loving God. Loving all that He's blessed me with.

I am praising God.........oh, for no particular reason.......I just want to praise Him. You know, too often, we only go to God when things are going bad, and we tend to only want to praise Him when everything is going well. But, we miss out when we do that. What about those in-between times? Doesn't God STILL deserve praise? After all, He is God and although our situations may change, He doesn't change. He is still good.

When things are "okay" and we don't feel the urgency to call on God for assistance, that really is no excuse not to go to Him. We should still pray. We should always thank Him for His blessings, and recognize Him for who He is. The reason to pray is not simply to ask God (or, as many of us do, beg God) for the things that we need and want.

So, I am in this praise mode right now where I am just giving it all to Him. I am so thankful for everything. I thank Him for being God. I thank Him for loving me. Providing for me. Taking care of me. Protecting me. I thank Him for being God!

I am blessed!

The Best is Yet to Come!

Hi Everyone,

Please take the time to listen in to my very own Internet talk radio show. My show is named "Passion4Life". I broadcast at least once a week. You may listen to my previous shows from the archives at www.blogtalkradio.com/passion4life. Or, go to the P4L website at www.freewebs.com/passion4life. You will find a link/button that will bring you directly to the radio show site.

When you visit the P4L website, please sign the guestbook to let me know that you were there. You will also find out more about me and services that I offer. You can also access that info at www.carlanix.com.

Please stay tuned because I have an inspirational e-booklet coming out within the next couple of months named "Beyond the Exit". The booklet will be available for sale through both websites: www.carlanix.com and www.freewebs.com/passion4life.

Thanks for your support!

God bless you always!

Walking in my purpose

I'm feeling awfully blessed right now. Incredibly blessed. Undeservedly blessed. Outrageously blessed. Madly blessed!

Simply because I am feeling, for the first time, that I am truly walking in my purpose. Living the purpose that God designed me for.

God is opening doors and opportunities whereas I am being allowed to do the things that I know He has planted in me. I've been asked to do some workshops, trainings, and consulting. I know......I know.......people do these all of the time. So true! But I hope that if they do, they are doing so because they are called to do so. Not just for pay.

When one is called to do something, they will do so for the shear satisfaction of knowing that you're doing what you are purposed to do.

I am so thankful and outright grateful to God for what He is doing in my life. What a wonderful feeling of walking in my purpose!

Thank You Jesus!