Sunday, July 13, 2008

52

Fifty-two. That was the number God showed me as I had fallen into a pretty deep sleep yesterday. I didn’t even know that I’d fallen asleep. That happens sometime. I last remembered stretching out in my bed because I was feeling extremely weak and lethargic. I just needed to lie down, I thought, and hopefully regain some strength. It was late afternoon/late evening time, so I wasn’t looking to go to sleep just yet. I was just tired because for the last two weeks, I’d been going and doing non-stop without much of a break.

First my trip to Dallas as God blessed me to speak during a wonderful revival. The adrenalin of the entire experience continued to keep me going as I needed it for my return home. The very next day began my own church’s revival, as well as our Vacation Bible School. I had been asked to teach the adult classes. It was my pleasure and honor to do so. But………and there’s always a but, isn’t it……..there was a hitch. I was asked about 2 weeks prior to the VBS, which should have been enough time to be ready. However, they never got the material to me before my trip before Dallas. One person thought that someone else would give it to me…..and it didn’t pan out that way. Well, while I was in Dallas, I even called and asked them to please, please, please , bring the material to my daughter who would be at church that Sunday (I got home Sunday evening). Just the day before the classes were to begin, but I felt confident that I would be able to study it that night and during the day on Monday.

Well, I get home and learn that I still have no material because of a number of reasons. I was eventually told that the curriculum for my class never came in after all………….sigh. The director apologized vehemently and asked me to use the curriculum from last year’s VBS. I had to remind her that I wasn’t at last year’s school because I was working and could not make it, therefore, I had no material! So, around mid-day on the day of the first class, she came to my house and brought me last year’s material (it comes in 10-day sessions, so there were more that could have been used).

At this point, it was quite overwhelming and I felt a lot of pressure. And I was still floating on the adrenalin that had been keeping me up to and through the revival in Dallas. However, the material was not working for me. The Director told me when she brought it that I didn’t have to use it if I didn’t want to. She had total confidence in me. Actually, much more than I felt within myself, yet I trusted God to work through me. And in my trusting and my praying and my leaning on Him, His Spirit kept leading me to some material that I’d already written myself some weeks prior to this. Actually, it was a combination of things that He’d already given me. At this 11th hour, I totally depended on Him to guide me and I was able to put together a lesson plan.

Everything went well. God truly prepared me, as everything that He’d previously given me was exactly what was needed for my classes. In fact, the themes and subjects were in perfect alignment with the overall Vacation Bible School’s. I had no idea because I had not seen any material for the school in advance. But God………God had already worked it out. And my class loved the presentation, praise God.
My only dismay, after all of this was over, was with the expectations that were put on me. It was believed that regardless of the mishaps, I would be able to do the job. I am dismayed because unfortunately, this is something that has been going on for way too many years, from too many people. I don’t know why they think that I can just do things off the top of my head with little or no preparation. That drives me crazy! I don’t like to function like that. It is unnecessary stress and poor planning. I need to be prepared! But, I blame myself because I know and truly believe that people will treat you as you allow them to treat you. I’m working on this…

Well, the adrenalin was still flowing. I was able to give a short sigh of relief that VBS was over and the revival in Dallas. All of that was behind me, yet I had so much inside of me that I continued to work on my own projects and the things that God is allowing me to do with my online ministry, the radio show, and my writing. Meanwhile, I am still working on putting together my own media/marketing information and packet. Working on my writing, my studying, and even on finding ways to generate income for myself. Of course, I still have a family and am wife and mother. That job never ends and is my first priority over everything else.
With the adrenalin still flowing, and no real break from anything, I shifted into yet another gear as my husband’s family reunion took place. It was a wonderful 3-day event with basically non-stop activities. It was great and I enjoyed meeting the Nix/Nicholson family members that I didn’t know. And it was definitely a blast to be with those family members that I know, but don’t get to see too often. I am happy that my children got to meet and greet their family! They know more of my family than they do the Nix’s. It was nice for me to see them with this other side.

Well, finally, we approach this week. I still never really stopped anything. Never took a break. I guess the adrenaline eventually waned and took its toll. It’s amazing, though, that some people think that just because I do not go to a 9 to 5 anymore that I don’t do anything. They think that I “play” on the computer and I am doing nothing significant in my life. In fact, I was contacted to do some small administrative projects for someone I know. I accepted to do the work, but it amazed me that it was believed that since I am “home”, I have nothing else to do and they……like some others…….needed the work like yesterday! They figured that I could do that, since, after all, I’m home. I did do the work, but I had to let them know that I had other things I was already working on and I did it in a manner that was more timely for me (see, I’m working on teaching others how to treat me…….).
Never forgetting my most important job – being mother and wife – no matter how tired I’d become, it doesn’t matter because they are my work. They are my true ministry. They are my responsibility. So, I spent a great week of quality time with my girls, and my husband. Never forgetting my responsibility as Mom even to my 23 year old son who lives in North Carolina, I even had my share of phone discussions with him. I am truly blessed to have my family. I love them so much. God has a way of encouraging us as we do the work we were called to do. My husband told me the other day that he loves me so much and he thanks God for me. He went on to thank me for loving him and for always standing behind him in support and with him in partnership. He said that he needs me and he appreciates me. That warmed my heart, and more than he knew, it was a huge sense of encouragement for me.

Well, yesterday, as I’d entered into that stupor of sleep unaware, two things happened. One being that my husband was thinking about me. He said that he was just thanking God in his heart for me and he felt so much love for me. He couldn’t call me at that time (he works 2nd shift), as they can’t use their phones in the building. So, his thought was that he would call me on his break. Meanwhile, I’m in the heavy sleep, and God shows me the number 52. I don’t remember dreaming about anything, or hearing anything around me (i.e., television). But, I SAW the number 52, and I remember thinking, “Oh, don’t tell me that my ‘sugar’ is as low as 52”. Yet, I couldn’t wake up. I remember that. But, eventually I did awaken and as I got up, I felt the signs of the low blood sugar (hypoglycemia). I struggled to test my blood and in the back of my mind, I remembered the 52. Lo and behold, my blood sugar read 51. Yes, 51. Way too low (blood glucose level should not be lower than 80 - 70).

I know that God was showing me this……and I’m assuming that when He was showing me, I was at 52. However, by the time that I’d awaken and tested myself, it dropped one more point down to 51. I could’ve slept away into a coma!

Praise God for awakening me.

This is not the first time that my sugar has dropped while asleep. However, I thought that I was maintaining better by now. I am thinking that the fact that I was so tired from the non-stop adrenalin and the running, I just crashed yesterday and I didn’t even have much energy. I had eaten a small breakfast that morning, but as the day went on, just being exhausted I didn’t even feel like eating anymore (I missed lunch, and by the time I’d awaken, it was even past dinner time). Before I’d fallen asleep, I’d cooked and fixed my husband’s plate to bring to work for his supper. When he left, I’d even made sure that my girls ate, or at least, had access to things to eat in the house. Yet, all I could do for myself was to crash even though that wasn’t my intention.

I am still in awe as to how God showed me 52. And, simultaneously, He had me on my husband’s mind in a very strong way. Who knows. Maybe knowing that number in my subconscious mind forced me to respond to God’s nudging to awaken me. And maybe that was in response to my husband subconsciously praying for me because God laid me on his mind.

Never doubt the power of prayer, and never, ever, lightly wipe aside thoughts of people that God places in your spirit. I have learned to simply pray when it happens to me and I truly believe that my husband’s prayer for me exemplified James 5:16 - simply put, that our prayers are powerful and effective!

It is no coincidence that my radio show on Tuesday was about the power of prayer. I am so thankful for Robert Cushman being my guest. I thoroughly enjoyed that show and I am still reading his book, “What If You Pray?” It’s a great read and one that you want to read over and over.

There are no coincidences in God. He order our steps, He’s the author and finisher of our faith, He orchestrates the experiences of our lives, and He is in full control. The number 52 that He flashed in my mind simply proves, yet again, His power! I’ll probably never forget that number (although I pray that I don’t see it again on my glucose meter).

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