I am at peace

Tuesday, January 08, 2008
12:45 pm

I go back to Dr. Shekoni today. He is supposed to give me the results from the MRI that was taken last week of my neck to check for blockage. I personally do not think that there is blockage. At least, I am hoping not. But I know that something isn’t right with me and I am tired of feeling this numbness, weakness, and sometimes even pain. At first, it was only on my right side in my hand and foot/leg. I now feel it on the other side, as well as in my face. I’ve been feeling it even in m lips. Dr. Shekoni is supposed to run another test as well to see if I have nerve damage. From what my brother told me and also from what I’ve read on my own, nerve damage does occur in some diabetics. I just hope that whatever is the problem can be rectified and treated.

I am enjoying this change of pace in my life. I have gotten a lot of rest………..trust me, a lot! Rest is foreign to me . But, it feels good and I do feel better because of it. I do still feel weakness, but I am dealing with it. At times, I still get the headaches, but now I can go lay down and rest when I do. I enjoy being home when my daughter comes home from school. I enjoy having dinner cooked in time for my husband before he leaves for work (he works the 2nd shift – 3pm); and of course it’s ready when my daughter comes home. I enjoy that I haven’t had to punch in a clock in the morning, but can do some work when and IF I feel like it. I love that I have been able to do some household things when I want to, and not as a very rushed weekend event. I mostly enjoy being able to go to bed at a decent time (usually by 8:30 or 9:00 pm).

My goal is to soon develop a schedule for myself. Time for me to write, time to do some online work, time to do some ministry work (both online and off), time to rest, time to read. Hopefully I will be able to do this soon in an organized manner.

On a personal front, I am ready for a new look. I have lost 12 pounds since leaving the hospital. I feel good in that regard. I actually feel lighter. But, I am ready to change my hairdo. I am not ashamed to say that I currently wear a weave. This is not my first one, but I when I feel the urge to do something different, I get one. Now, I am ready to get it out and don my own hair again. What I am not happy about concerning my own hair is that since hurricane Katrina, my hair texture has changed. My hair is much thinner now and so much so, that you can see my scalp in some areas. Alone with the thinness is the texture. It’s a finer texture, yet sort of cottony. My hair has always been very thick, not course, but thick. I don’t know what it is now and although it looks nice for a moment, I don’t like it. The weave has allowed me to take a break from chemicals and the elements. I am seriously considering not returning to the chemicals and to just go natural………ah, but we’ll see. Maybe I’ll get a low cut and let it grow out anew.

We’ll see!

Carla