By Carla Y. Nix
"For we walk by faith, not by sight." - 2 Corinthians 5:7
My daughter is home from college for the summer. She told me about one of her friends who seem to share one of my idiosyncrasies. We both use a fork when we eat!
What’s so odd about that?
Well, my daughter says that we use a fork EVERYTHING, and frankly, that just burns her up!
As she told me about her friend, I actually understood a little more about myself. My daughter explained that her friend, just like me, uses a fork for such things as hot dogs, fried chicken, sandwiches, pizza, etc. Foods that most people consider finger foods. As my daughter spoke about it, I immediately said that her friend does this because she likes to be in control. My daughter was amazed that I understood her friend so well. She said that I definitely described her friend.
I was able to do that because the friend’s peculiarity made perfect sense to me and I saw myself. I’d never even considered my urge to use a fork for everything as a need for control. But, my eyes were opened when I saw myself through someone else.
I explained to my daughter that it’s not purely a fight FOR control, but a struggle for being IN control in my life. I’ve long learned that I can’t control all things around me, but I strive to be in control for myself even through chaos. I thrive on structure.
How does using a fork demonstrate control?
For me, it allows a semblance of having everything together. Having my hand on the pulse of things that pertain to me. It’s like having a plan. Directions. A clear understanding.
That says a lot for using a fork, doesn’t it?
What I saw in this is that it definitely is my choice to use a fork, even when it seems extreme and unreasonable, but this tendency for me also means that I am not always free and open enough to simply walk by faith. God strongly spoke to me as we approached the beginning of this year and let me know that He desired for me to walk by faith as never before. He was letting me know that I had to totally trust Him in all areas of my life.
The analogy of the fork showed me that I need to put it down more often. I need not be afraid of getting messy. I don’t have to always hold everything together, or at least try to. To totally trust Him means that I don’t even have to be concerned about what I can’t see ahead of me because God is in control. I don’t HAVE to be! Walking by faith means that I can put down the fork and simply be comfortable knowing that God is more than capable of being God without my help!
Carla
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